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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195035">Forgotten Avengers: Book 3</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/Agent%20Finlay'>Agent Finlay (AgentFinlay)</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/AgentFinlay'>AgentFinlay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forgotten Avengers: The Recovered Files of Skoll &amp; Hati [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:41:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/Agent%20Finlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/AgentFinlay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/OC, bucky barnes/oc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forgotten Avengers: The Recovered Files of Skoll &amp; Hati [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604899</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. So Cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> [Fin - 08:41 May 6, 2013 - BROOKLYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <span>The Proposition #1 - Nick Cave &amp; Warren Ellis</span>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   Elena had been plotting something secret for weeks and had finally gotten the opportunity to get in to talk to Director Fury.  I kept trying to ask her but she insisted there was no reason to bother me with it until she talked to the Director. She convinced me to go with her to spend the weekend in D.C. by dangling a visit with Peggy over my head and it worked. I wasn’t really ever going to let her go alone but sitting in a sparsely decorated apartment while we waited to be seen was not my idea of a good time. I was putting on my shoes when Elena's phone started ringing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Hello? Uh...ok.” she glanced at her watch. “We were headed to D.C but I have a meeting with Fury in a few hours, can you do it without me?...Yeah, hang on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She handed me the phone. “it's Cap. He has a mission” I took the phone from her, I wasn't completely past our last interaction but he was my boss. If he needed me to work, I would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What's the job?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Retrieval of an asset in the field. I'm waiting for more info but the strike team is out. I thought the three of us could handle it but from the info I've gotten a two man team should be sufficient, If you're up for it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I looked over at Elena, the question must have shown on my face because she rolled her eyes and made a ‘go on’ gesture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sure, I just need to grab my gear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Meet me in hangar 4. I assume you’re still in Brooklyn, just get there as soon as you can. I will have everything ready to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sounds good. See you then.” I hung up without waiting for his response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You sure you’re up for a solo outing with him?” Elena voiced the question I’d been asking myself. “It wasn’t two days ago you were having an emotional breakdown in front of him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I know, and he’s not holding it against me. Besides, It wasn’t his fault.” I let out the breath I'd been holding while I was on the phone. “And hey! Maybe I'll finally make it through an interaction without making a fool of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You haven’t--” She tried to argue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Let’s see, Russia in our underwear, Rollins on the course, the cemetery breakdown, Oh! literally falling down crying in front of all the avengers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I don’t think anyone’s holding that against you, and I definitely don't think he’s keeping the same running tally you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “You don’t know he isn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “You don’t know he is. Stop keeping track or you're going to get in your own head about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Steve - 13:58 May 6, 2013 - EN ROUTE]</b>
</p><p>
  <span>   I'd gotten the rest of the mission brief not long after getting off the phone with Fin, I wish I had known before where the mission was taking us so I could have given her a heads up but it was too late now. Instead I stopped by Agent Hill’s office on my way to the hangar and hoped a peace offering would appease her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  From hangar 4 we had been flown immediately to an offshore floating station to board a sub, Fin had seemed a little uneasy about it at first and was slowly pacing the war room as we went over the files. I wasn't sure if it was the submarine or the news that our trip was taking us north that had her agitated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you sure the asset is there?” She asked. So it was the location.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “That's what his tracker says.” I handed her the file that the asset’s handler had given me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Shit.” She mumbled. I waited for more to follow the expletive. She saw me watching her pace and stopped with an exhale. “I've been there before, with Elena. It didn't go well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Recon says it's empty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah, that's what they told us too. And it was, on the surface. Underground was a bunch of russians.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “How many is a bunch?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Couple hundred? I didn't really stop to count.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Any chance they cleared out since then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Maybe? We took out a good chunk of them so who knows.” She shrugged. We both stood looking at the map of Franz Josef Land in silence. She pointed to a corner below a building that was labeled as a lighthouse. “We should come in here if the ice is thin enough. I can get us up from there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I will let them know. Are you going to be ok with this? I thought the cold was going to be the biggest hurdle...I didn't realize.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It will be fine. I just need to wrap my head around it...I hadn't planned on ever going back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I did get something...when I found out we were going somewhere arctic, I thought it might help.” I pulled out a box, handing it to her. She took it from me with all the suspicion of someone not used to gifts from acquaintances without strings attached. She opened it and held up a thin long sleeved undershirt. “put it on under your gear. It's not perfect yet, it's still in the r&amp;d stage but Hill says they should be standard issue by next year.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   She walked away from the table and turned her back to me, taking off her top and pulling on the new one. I looked back down at the map in an effort to give her some privacy, only accidentally peaking once when I thought she was finished. I told myself I didn’t notice the curve of her waist or the small scar across her left rib.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What is it?” She asked. When I looked up she had layered over the shirt and the ends of the sleeves stuck out of her jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “There is a button on one of the sleeves, in the lining. It has microfilament ribbons throughout that conduct heat...so you shouldn't have to worry about freezing up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   She was looking at me awestruck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Really?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yes really. I can't have you hibernating on the job.” I laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Thank you...really...this is…” she looked at the parts of the shirt that poked out of her sleeves. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Does it make up for me dragging you back here?” I pointed at the map.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>   “It's a start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Elena - 15:22 May 6, 2013 - WASHINGTON D.C.]</b>
</p><p>
  <span>   I hadn’t realized I’d been pacing until the phone in my pocket started vibrating in my pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Hello?” I tried to sound less anxious than I felt. I wasn’t sure why I felt like this, I was the one that requested the meeting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Agent Allen? This is Marcella. The Director is still in a meeting, are you alright postponing until tomorrow?” The sweet older women on the other line spoke with practiced apologies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “That’s fine, I’m at the apartment in D.C. while Fin and Captain Rogers are out on an errand. As long as you can give me about thirty minutes notice, I’ll be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Perfect. Thank you so much for understanding.” She hung up before I could respond, her politeness not getting in the way of her efficiency. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I continued the conversation that I had been having in my head since the phone call that set it all into motion, trying to organize all the information I needed to bring to Fury. I hadn’t heard from </span>
  <span>Dr. Raath since joining S.H.I.E.L.D. and was excited to talk about Siboli again, but I wasn't expecting a request for assistance. I’d agreed without hesitation, only realizing after the call had ended that it would be easier said than done and immediately requested a meeting with the Director. I could have asked Cap, I’m sure he would have said it was alright, but I knew that it would still need to go through the Director as well and thought it was best to skip the middleman. Mostly I wanted to know how my position would be handled if I left...If I would have a job when I returned. I’d been Fin’s partner for almost seven years, I wasn’t about to abandon her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   I’d spent the evening researching the situation Dr. Raath had brought to my attention. The poaching was nothing new but a pandemic was decimating the herbivore population and compiling the losses exponentially. They needed help monitoring the situation, looking for early signs of disease before entire herds were affected, as well as trying to figure out an effective treatment plan. Unfortunately the poachers made many of the qualified visiting physicians hesitant to go into the park without armed escort and that wasn’t possible. I had no such stipulation and Dr. Raath knew it, which is why I was getting a phone call after all this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   In a perfect world I’d bring Fin with me as back up, just in case, but I wasn't going to put her career in jeopardy if I didn’t get permission. Fin coming as a bodyguard would open another can of worms, bringing a government agent into a country that was known to be against outside interference would be a red tape nightmare, forget actually being there in any professional capacity. I was expecting strings to need pulled just to get me there without causing an international incident if it came out what my job was. If I was able to keep that under wraps it wouldn’t be as big of a deal, I had my own strings to tug on in that regard, but the situation was still going to be a delicate one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>    [Fin - 02:03 May 7, 2013 - FRANZ JOSEF LAND]</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    
    <em>
      <span> My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   I spent the rest of the ride going over maps with Cap and making sure I had the right music playing. If ever there was a mission I needed the distraction from, this was it, even if it had been almost two years since my last visit ...damn, had it really been two years already? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   Once I'd let Cap know I’d been to the archipelago before he decided I should take lead once we were ashore since I knew the base and, while I couldn't argue with the logic, it didn't change the fact that I didn't want to be here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   The sub pulled up to the side of the archipelago where I had indicated, I was worried the door wouldn't be clear but it was for nothing. We hadn't even bothered to close it when we left and the metal door was hanging open. It didn't take long to set a grappling hook and climb in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “After you.” he gestured for me to lead the way. Great, we were sticking with that then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I walked up the steps, careful of the frozen spots. That's all I needed, to slip and bite it on the stairs...at least if that happened I might slide all the way out and off this damned island. We made it to the first landing without incident and I stopped, putting my hand on the door and bracing for the cold wind that swept the flat ground here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Wait.” I heard him whisper. I waited. He reached over, pressing my wrist and I felt my arms and torso get warm. “Can't forget that.” he smiled. I thought about telling him I could take care of myself but it was too hard to feign anger when I was so relieved to be warm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   We stepped out, the air still bit at my face but it didn't slow us down. We made it to the tower with ease, entering and shutting the door behind us. It wasn’t more than two steps into the building before static squealed, cutting through the music and sending what felt like an icepick through my ear drums. I yanked out the Mic and looked over to see Cap had done the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What the hell?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Probably a scrambler? We will have to stick close with comms down.” he nodded and we headed up the stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I didn't like this, every squeak of a step or groan of the building made me jump. Any other mission I would have probably been fine without the music but not here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you alright?” I jumped at his voice. Christ Fin, get it together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Not really, no.” I was too distracted to lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Anything I can do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Keep talking. I can't take the silence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Is that why you have the music?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Pretty much...that started because of this place.” I admitted. “When Elena and I came here, she was taken. I was on my own for a few days with no radio, no one to talk to. Nothing but me and my worrying to keep me company. Since then I just...I have trouble without the music. I pick up on too much that I should be ignoring and I start to second guess...everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hadn't planned to tell him, but my own voice was better than the silence too and once I started, I couldn't stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. did solitary confinement training?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “They do, I aced that. I can be alone in quiet confinement. Being out here was different because I had options but didn't know what to do. It was our first mission, just the two of us and I had lost my partner. When I tried to get her back there was a small army between us and everything about the mission stank of a set up...I didn't want to believe that was the case but even in retrospect it seems--STOP!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   We had reached the top of the tower and he was going toward the door on the far side of the room. I hadn't meant to yell but when his hand had gone for the latch my brain replayed getting blown out of the window in vivid detail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I thought this was where we needed to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It is, but we need to make sure it's not trapped. Last time there was a claymore behind door number one and I don't feel like reliving that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “How did you know it was trapped the first time?” he asked. I looked around the room. “oh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yea, I found out the hard way. If you look out the window there might be a Wile E. Coyote style body shaped crater where I landed before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I'll take your word for it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We checked the door and it was clear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Come on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   We made it to the bottom, I opened the doors along the corridor with a sickening sense of deja vu. When I got to the observation room where I found the guard on my first trip the smell of old decay wafted out. I looked in, the body was where I had left it. A good indication the Russians really had left the facility. Cap looked over my shoulder into the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Wonder what he did to get left like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “He let me kill him and take his radio.” I said flatly. He was the first person I'd killed in the field, at the time it had bothered me more than it did now but knowing he’d been left to rot didn’t help. We kept walking, Cap kept talking, asking me questions about the last time I was here. I was only half listening and answering but it was serving the purpose to distract the part of my mind that needed distraction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   When we walked through the giant hole in the wall I explained how I had utilized the second claymore trap. He sounded impressed. We walked through the hanger and down the hall where I had seen Elena and her...whatever he was...come from. If there was an asset in need of rescue I assumed he would be in the same holding cells. The bodies in the hangars had been moved into the hall but they were all still here, the smell wasn't as bad but this part of the structure had open air flow, there wasn't much nature to help decompose along and the temperatures kept the mostly frozen.  We passed them. Further down there was a body without shoes and I remembered Elena's too large boots as we hung from the ice. We were getting close. The next hall was lined with doors, each labeled with a letter. ‘a, b, c’, all but the last. The door at the end simply said ‘office. I went to that one first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “The ones with letters seem to have holding cells.” he was peeking into a door labeled B that was propped open by another body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I'm hoping the office has information on who was in them. Maybe narrow down the search for our asset. Do you know the alias?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Stanislavski.” I nodded to acknowledge that I'd heard, the name tickling the back of my mind as I opened the office door. Inside was a desk, on either side were small lockers stacked three high that went back further than I could see. Behind the desk were more lockers, perpendicular to the others and in rows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Shit...that's a lot.” I said it to myself, Cap was still checking out the open room. I tried to remember the letter on the door that was propped open, assuming it was the one Elena had broken out of since it was the only one with a body as a doorstop. I went to the corresponding locker and opened it. Inside were Elena's boots, clothes, weapons, and two faded manilla folders that were rubber banded together. I opened the corner of the first and a picture of Elena looked back at me. When Cap opened the door I closed the folders, suddenly feeling guilty for prioritizing Elena's file over the asset. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What have you got?” he asked as he entered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Good news, there are files. Bad news, “I looked around, “there are a lot of them...I found Elena’s and her gear.” I held it up. He looked around before grabbing what looked like a tan duffel off the floor. He dumped the contents and tossed it to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “We can take it back to her. May as well grab any files we can find, figure out who some of these people are.” I nodded, putting the files from Elena's locker under her gear before going to the next locker. We eventually had the folders from every locker, some only had two, some had more. Every locker had one man and at least one woman but some had as many as five women. I tried not to think about it as I stepped over the pile of women's clothing that had been in the duffle I carried now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Got it.” Cap held up a thick folder. “Our asset is in Q ...and by the looks of it he has had plenty of company while he has been here…Something doesn't make sense.” He flipped through the files in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “What’s up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “The dates on his file and the others with his...they’re from 2011 and earlier but there’s nothing after that. He couldn't have been here the whole time, he only went rogue a few months ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It would make sense that they cleared out after 2011, that’s when Elena and I were here. I can’t explain why he would be back here, you’ll have to ask him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    “I will.” He started walking out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Be careful. I'm still not convinced this isn't a trap.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Oh, I hope it's a trap.” he muttered to himself as he walked out, slamming the door behind him and I could swear I heard him say “I really need to hit someone” as he stomped down the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Steve - 04:01 May 7, 2013 - FRANZ JOSEF LAND]</b>
</p><p>
  <span>   I admit, I wasn't as careful as I could have been but I didn't run into any trouble. I reached q and found our asset sitting in a cell. He was dirty and the whole room smelled like a toilet, his face was gaunt and he struggled to stand when I entered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Thank God. I thought no one was coming.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Don't thank me yet, I haven't decided if I'm leaving you here or not.” I said through gritted teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Don't be ridiculous.” he said in a panicked laugh as he looked around his cell and I followed his gaze to the rat corpses littering the floor. They were the only thing keeping him alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I'm not being ridiculous. I'm deciding if leaving you there to starve is justice for these women you raped.” I opened the files that were attached to his, reading off the names.  “Helina Avilov, Yuliya Dresvyanin, Dominika Rachova, Raisa Yeshecsky, Alexandra Hakimoff...there are a few more but there files are stamped “прекратить“ and their names are blacked out. Every single one of them was in a cell...with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It wasn't rape, they were willing! If I didn't...if I didn't the Russians would have killed me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “And you don't think these women had the same gun to their heads!?” I shouted, resisting the urge to throw the files in his face. I needed them to find out who these women were...maybe it wasn’t too late for all of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I didn't...please...please don't leave me here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Can you tell us about this program?” I hadn't heard Fin come in, the duffel was full and she seemed to be struggling with it a little. The asset watched her set it on the floor and grinned, his demeanor adjusting immediately to her presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Well you must be the calvary. Hallelujah.” He grinned wolfishly and looked her over now that she was facing him. “My name is Dominic.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I don’t really care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Wait a second...I know you.” His smile widened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I don’t think so.” She smiled back, the expression held an edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You had black hair, red lipstick. You looked different but I could never forget that ass-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Watch it!” That’s all this day needed, the asshole I already didn’t want to save trying to hit on the only person that could convince me not to leave him here. She was staring at him, eyes narrowed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Right. You were cleaner and had short hair, you smelled less like shit...and your face was less fucked up.” She pointed to the scar on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I have you to thank for that I think. Not exactly where I thought that evening would end.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah well, you should learn to keep your hands to yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m sorry to interrupt but can we get back to business here?” As fun as it was having no clue what was going on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sorry, Captain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You’re the reason they left me here.” The hiss of rage leaking through the previously suave demeanor. “They found out I was working for you people. You OWE me. GET ME OUT OF HERE.” he demanded. Fin and I looked at each other before she spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Can you tell us about the program? About what happened here?” She repeated her initial question</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I can tell you everything I know. Just get me out. ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Can I see you in the hall, sir.” it wasn't a question. I followed her out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “I know you really want to punch him, I do too. But we need whatever information he has.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “If we take him in as a recovered asset he will have immunity, you know that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Then we don't take him in as an asset. We take him in as a cooperating witness.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “We were sent to retrieve him as an asset...how?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “When we get him back to the sub, don't check in with his handler. Call Fury himself, he makes the call. Ask if Elena is still in his office, she should be, they were planning something. If she is there ask him to put you on speaker and tell him EVERYTHING. When we get off the line she will convince him. She wants the information he has more than any of us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It’s worth a shot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “It might be the only one we’ve got.” She shrugged before walking back into the room ahead of me, making Q back up against the far wall before she started picking the lock on his cage.The man insisted on continuing to hit on Fin as she unlocked his cell and tied his hands, making not so subtle innuendo. She rolled her eyes in response and started referring to him as Q, speaking about him as though he weren’t in the room as we discussed our route back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  It wasn’t long before we had him out of the cage and restrained and after a lengthy discussion explaining that I was offering to carry the duffel because it was nearly as tall as her, not because I thought she couldn’t, we were on our way. Now Fin lead as we exited through the open tunnel, it would take longer to get back than going up the way we’d come but we needed to make sure the facility was clear. The further we walked the less certain I was that our ‘cooperating witness’ would live to make it off the archipelago. He wasn’t doing anything really, nothing Fin would notice from a few paces ahead, but he kept looking her up and down and grinning. Everytime he did I was reminded of the women in his files and held on to his restraints a little tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Can I ask you a question?” He slowed his gait and I jerked the short rope that served as his lead as I answered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Alright, alright. No need to get touchy.” he sneered. “I was just wondering if you’d had the pleasure of your partner’s fine body grinding on you. I have, and I have to tell you she-” I punched him before he could finish. My brain had said not to, that he was baiting me and I shouldn't rise to it. My arm said to give him what he wanted. I jerked him back to his feet by his rope as he held his bound hands to his bloody nose. Fin had stopped and was looking back at us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you done?” She crossed her arms and waited, I wasn't sure if she meant me or him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Maybe I should take the lead for a while? Let you cover our backs?” I suggested, hoping our ‘asset’ would be less talkative without the view to comment on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sure.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Hand him over.” She held out her open palm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’ve got it.” I argued and her hand went to her hips as she waited impatiently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You can’t lead, carry the bag AND babysit Q. You’ve already punched him. Yes I saw.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Fine.” I begrudgingly handed her the rope. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I kept looking back to see her a comfortable distance behind our guy as we moved. Good. The sooner we handed him over the better. Snow started to fall, blurring the horizon but we weren’t far out. We’d taken the perimeter that led us along the shore and skirted the buildings to block the wind but there wasn’t exactly a path and the dusting of snow hid patches of ice. I slid a few times and saw ‘Q’ lose his footing once or twice. Fin seemed unaffected but I figured she was watching our dumb asses find the slick spots and avoiding them herself. When I heard her cuss I assumed she’d finally been the one to lose her footing but when I looked back she was grappling with Q in the snow. I dropped the duffel off my shoulder just in time to see them roll off the edge. I had the climbing hook that Fin had insisted on bringing set into the ice before I heard the splash as they hit the water. I threw down the rope and waited for them to surface...and waited...and...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>   I threw off my helmet and dove straight down, unsure where they’d landed other than in the water. The water was so cold that it knocked the air out of my lungs as I submerged and I realized I had no visibility. I felt around blindly, feeling nothing but water as my lungs started to burn. When my fingers brushed fabric I grabbed it and swam to the surface. I heard Fin inhale when we reached air and I pulled us toward a rock outcropping. I didn’t realize until I'd gotten her out of the water that she was holding Q, her legs were wrapped around his torso from behind and the rope that had been serving as his lead was pulled around his throat like a garrote. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You could have let him go.” I was still trying to catch my breath as I spoke. . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I was going to...as soon as he lost consciousness.” She lay on her back on the stone, her chest heaving as she gulped down air and kicked Q for emphasis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What if you’d run out of air before he did?” I pointed out, she shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I wasn’t worried, I have a big strapping hero like you to dive in and save me.” She laughed, trying to catch her breath. I started to ask if she’d hit her head on the way down but she kept talking. “Don’t tell Elena I said that.” Ah, that was more like it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Is he dead?” I asked hopefully, watching her wipe blood from the fresh split in her lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No. But it looks like we won’t have to make that phone call to Fury after all. He’s not a cooperating witness anymore. He tried to run, which makes him a straight up hostage. His immunity is out the window either way. So, go us I guess.” She sat up, fumbling with the zipper pockets on her jacket and getting frustrated. “We’ll just hogtie him and haul his ass out of here...then we’re...home free...Mother, UGH!.” she threw her hands up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You alright?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I will be, I just...that fancy heated thermal shirt isn’t exactly waterproof. It shorted out.” I looked at her hands, her fingers trying again to unzip her pocket and failing. “Can you…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sure.” I moved to sit beside her and unzipped the pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m going to need you to get in there...don’t worry it’s not boobytrapped.” She tried to smile but I could see her clenching her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering. I reached in her pocket and pulled out a syringe full of opaque liquid. She reached up for it but pulled her hands back as an afterthought. “I’m going to need you to do it, my fingers are numb and if I drop it in the ocean...well, you’ll be carrying us both back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What is it?” I asked, pulling the cap off the needle. She tapped her leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Right here. It’s adrenaline, It will keep my heart rate up and my blood flowing so I don’t freeze up. It might take a minute to feel my hands again but I will stay awake...What are you waiting for Cap?” I hadn’t realized I'd hesitated but I wasn't used to stabbing people with needles. “It will be worse if you overthink it, just do it!” I looked away as I slammed the needle into her thigh, pressing the plunger until I met resistance. When I looked back at her face her cheeks had already regained color that I hadn't realized had been lost and she flexed her fingers experimentally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you going to be able to climb up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah, just give me a minute.” She rubbed her hands together trying to generate friction. I grabbed her hands before she could protest. They were like ice as I covered them with mine and I held fast as she tried to pull away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Tell me how you met Q.” I tried to distract her. “Did you really give him that scar?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No...Coulson did that.” She smiled. “He popped up at a club just outside of New York, the strike team had been after him for ages but he kept going off grid for months at a time. When he showed back up he was in a populated place and they couldn’t go in after him. They sent us to put a biotracker on him. Coulson went with Elena and I. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “And?” I prompted her to continue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “And, when he showed up with a bunch of muscle I convinced him to come out onto the dance floor with me, away from his bodyguards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “How did you manage that?” I had asked to keep her talking, not realizing how the question sounded. She looked back at me abashed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Some men appreciate a woman asking them to dance.” she said pointedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    “Well that makes sense, you are very pretty... I mean. What I meant was…” she started laughing at me as I stumbled over myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It’s alright Cap. Don’t give yourself a stroke. Once we got out in the open he got a little rough. Coulson punched him in the face with a glass of whiskey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Shit. I’d hate to think what he’d do if he found out all the trouble I keep dragging you into.” I felt her fingers move against my palms but she wasn’t trying to pull away anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “I don’t think you’d have anything to worry about.” She shrugged. “He knew I was perfectly capable of getting myself into trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “Good. I’d hate to think--FUCK.” The sharp pain in my side caught me off guard. I swung my elbow back in a blind attempt to strike my attacker and felt the blow connect as Fin got to her feet and threw herself past me. I turned to help and felt pain shoot through me at the motion, what the hell? I saw Fin on top of Q in my peripheral vision, pounding her fists into his face. Seeing she had the situation handled I tentatively touched my side and pulled my fingers away wet with blood. Something was sticking out of the hole in my uniform but it was too small for me to get my hand around to pull out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you alright?” I watched her hogtie Q, blood running out of his nose and onto the ice. “Cap?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah...I’m fine. Just a scratch.” I lied, I wouldn’t bleed to death before we got to exfil and I was starting to share her feelings about this place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You’re bleeding.” She pointed out helpfully. I moved to get my feet under me and felt whatever was in my side digging deeper, I doubled over against the pain and Fin ducked under my shoulder. “You’re not fine!” I thought she’d been trying to keep me upright when she pushed herself under my arm but she was holding it out of the way to get a better look at the wound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Do you mind?” I tried to move away but she grabbed one of my holster straps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Hold still.” There was no levity in her tone which was unusual for her. I started to tell her I was the one in command here when I felt her cold fingers slide under the cut fabric a moment before hearing a loud ripping sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “The hell are you doing Agent Coulson?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m trying to keep you from dicing your internal organs into mince meat.” She flicked her gaze up to my face. “I need you to VERY CAREFULLY sit back down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What about--” I nodded back to Q.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “He’s unconscious, and if he wakes up...” She faked a smile. “I’ll shoot him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “For stabbing me? I’m flattered.” I teased, she didn’t seem amused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No. I punched him for stabbing you. I’ll shoot him for doing it with one of my knives.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Your...?” I looked down, with the uniform mostly out of the way I could see the curved end of a small push blade protruding from my skin. “It’s not going to explode or anything is it?” I’d seen some strange tech come out of S.H.I.E.L.D. it wouldn’t surprise me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Explode? No! Why would...you’ve been spending time around Stark haven’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “It won’t explode but it does have a small mechanism that opens barbs on the side.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Ah, that’s what that unpleasant stabbing pain is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Well that and the three inch blade trying to tickle your appendix.” She exhaled and absently wiped a stray hair out of her face, not noticing the smear of blood she left across her cheek. “At least you seem to have a sense of humor about it...We picked a hell of a day to leave Elena at home.” She tried to smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I thought every Agent had field training? I did...although it’s probably a little out of date.” I chuckled, the blade bouncing in my side made me wince. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “Yes, well for starters we no longer just rub dirt in it and walk it off.” She started looking through her pockets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I was going to use snow but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Ok I really do need you to hold still and stop talking...I’m trying to remember how to pull it out without causing more damage...I know it’s going to hurt.” She looked at me apologetically. “The snow isn’t a bad idea though.” She got to her feet and walked carefully across the rocks before scooping the top layers of clean snow into her upturned jacket. She dumped it onto the wound unceremoniously and I had to fight the urge to tense against it as a reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Your bedside manner needs work.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “So I’ve been told.” I watched her lay out bandages on my leg, the only place to put them that wasn’t the ground. “If you can, brush off as much of the snow as you can when you’re ready.  I need to be able to feel what I'm doing and I just now got the feeling back in my hands.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I should be able to manage that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Also, try not to move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’ve got to push the barbs back and--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Fin.” I interrupted her, pushing the snow off of me and looking straight up at the sky so I didn’t have to watch. “Just get it done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m really, really sorry about this.” She grimaced and before I could ask ‘about what?’ I felt the wound in my side tearing wider as she pushed her finger and thumb down either side of the blade. I clenched my teeth against the urge to scream but I could hear the sound struggling to escape my throat. “Almost...almost…” I felt something click and she pulled the blade out as quickly as Q had sunk it in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Son of a bitch!” I exhaled, scooping snow onto the wound to slow the bleeding. “Remind me never to piss you off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I said i was sorry!” She was wiping my blood on the snow, trying to get her hands clean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I know! If you can hurt someone that much trying to help, I can’t imagine what you’d be able to accomplish if you really wanted to.” I smiled, although I’m sure it looked less than sincere through the grimace of pain as I sat up. She held out her hand to help, and I took it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Good thing I’m on your side then.” She smiled, more genuinely than I had. “Let’s get you patched up so we can get the hell out of here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 06:15 May 7, 2013 - THE TRISKELION]</b>
</p><p>
  <span>   “Agent Allen, Thank you for working with my schedule.” Director Fury showed me into his office, I could smell the fresh coffee in the caraf on his desk with 2 mugs. He poured one for himself and offered me the second black mug, the shield insignia emblazoned on one side. It was still early morning, even for me, and I wasn’t about to turn down the caffeine. We both sat in silence for a moment, sipping the coffee while it was still too hot but neither of us seemed to care. After a while trying to decide if he was waiting for me to say something, he finished his first cup and reached for a refill as he asked. “So, what did you want to see me about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I took a deep breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I wanted to ask permission to take...vacation...sort of.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You have vacation time, Agent Allen. You just have to clear it with your supervisor. What do you need from me? And what does ‘sort of’ mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I do, but i might need more time than what i have, and I will...clear it with Captain Rogers, of course. It’s sort of not vacation as much as it is a temporary change in occupation.” This wasn’t going as well as I had expected, my brain immediately forgetting everything I’d planned to say once I was actually in the Director’s office. “You know where I was when Agent Coulson recruited me? What was I doing?” I asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah. Some wildlife safari thing. I remember him saying you were a veterinarian because I asked him why he wanted to recruit a veterinarian. Then he reminded me who your father was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I was observing and tracking wildlife on the preserves, to overly generalize.” I wasn’t sure how interested he was in the details of everything I was doing to help, so I tried to keep it brief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “And that’s what you want to do...on this ‘vacation’?” He put air quotes around vacation and I was starting to think he was teasing me about saying it was a ‘sort of’ vacation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yes, sir. I got a call from one of my contacts there, they need all the help they can get.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Where is it you’d be going?” He started looking through papers on his desk, half paying attention to the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m not certain where they would want me. Last time i was in Sibiloi, so it would make sense to send me there, but the other side of Lake Turkana is all park land owned by the Wakandan government, which is where Dr. Raath’s set up out of.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  “Right.” I had his attention now. “You were there during the assasination attempt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No wonder they want you to help, all the other white people ran home when that happened. The save the animal photo ops aren’t as cute when you might get murdered. Guess the poachers didn’t bother them.” He chuckled to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    “Well most of them had armed escorts.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    “But not you? You were what, 18? 19? And they had you running around out there all alone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “They thought I was capable.” I smiled, leaving out the part where I had to argue for DAYS with Dr. Raath to agree to let me go alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’ll say...How long would you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>   “A couple months maybe? I’d hope that would be enough time to help them get ahead of the issues they’re up against right now...besides the poachers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Well. Not that I don’t think you’re capable, but i’d like you to take Agent Coulson with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I’m not sure that’s--” I started to argue, I didn't want to pull her away from S.H.I.E.L.D.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “That’s not up for negotiations. You’re going to work, she’s your back up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “But it’s not for S.H.I.E.L.D.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “It is if I say it is.” He smiled. “I’ll make some calls. Wakanda might not be keen on help from outside governments but you’re going there on the request of Dr...what was it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Raath.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Dr. Raath, right. I’ll let him know that you’re bringing your own security so as to not strain their resources. I will also make it clear that, while in country, you will be taking your orders from Dr. Raath and the Wakandan government. I’m loaning you out Agent Allen, understood?” He looked at me and I closed my mouth, trying not to look as dumbfounded as I felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Understood.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Good.” He looked at his watch. “Your partner and Captain Rogers should be back from their errand soon. I’m going to send you with the car to pick them up while I get this set into motion. Come back here and we’ll make sure it’s alright to steal you from Captain Rogers for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> [Fin - 06:18 May 7, 2013 - EN ROUTE]</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <span>So Cold - Maria Lynn</span>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   The rest of the trip had been slow but uneventful, I argued with Captain Rogers about seeing medical when we reached the submarine but eventually he gave it.  Now I was laying in a bunk with the curtain drawn, trying to forget how shoving my fingers in an open wound felt, and get some sleep. I was cold and tired but the world was too loud and whatever had scrambled out comms had done permanent damage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Are you ok?” Cap's voice asked from the other side of the curtain. I had known he was in the opposite bunk but I didn't realize my tossing and turning had been so noticeable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “No.” I answered honestly with an exasperated exhale. What was the point in hiding it now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Too quiet or too loud?” he asked. I’d never had anyone ask it that way, but it made sense.  I thought for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Both.” my voice cracked and I hoped he didn't notice. I also didn't wait for him to ask what he could do to help. “Can you just...keep talking. Until I fall asleep...if it’s not too much trouble...” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What do you want me to talk about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I don't care, anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Alright...Um...i'm not very good at talking, so fair warning. Usually I’m the one not sleeping…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I used to have a real hard time when I was a kid. I was sick a lot and had a bunch of problems ...sometimes everything would just hurt… my mom would come read to me, those books you and Elena had in storage, those were her favorites. Especially the wizard of oz. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would do the voices for the characters” he laughed, remembering. “it always helped me fall asleep. I always liked the end, when you find out all she had to do was say ‘there's no place like home’ ...my mom would have me say that part when she read the book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>   When she got sick I would sit with her in her room, she was too weak to come to me...she would read whatever she had with her. Toward the end...toward the end it for too hard for her to speak, so I would read to her instead...the last book we read was the Wizard of Oz, I remember she asked me if she could have magic shoes like Dorothy so she could go home...did you know the movie got it wrong? In the book they weren't rubies, they were--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Silver.” I said with a yawn. “Dorothy's slippers are silver in the book”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah.” He chuckled, it was a hollow amused sound but it didn’t pull him out of the mood that his story had put him in. ”I saved up some money, my friend Bucky helped...we got her a pair of silver shoes. They weren't really silver, they were just grey leather but I polished them until you could see yourself in the shine. I gave them to her for her birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   We finished reading the book before she died...I won't forget that, can't forget...i was reading and she hadn't spoken in days, every time she tried she would just start coughing… it was terrible. I was reading the book and I got to the part where Dorothy clicks her heels together and my mom put her hand on mine and said ‘there's no place like home” without even a little cough. We finished the book and she fell asleep...the next morning...the next morning she didn't wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I wanted to say something, I didn't know what, but the heavy hand of sleep had finally taken hold in my brain and I had started to drift. He stopped talking and I didn't answer but the last thing I heard was his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Fin.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Wakanda</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>    <b>[Fin - 17:00 September 17, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> Wakanda - Ludwig Goransson </em> </span>
</p><p>   It didn’t seem like long ago that I'd been in Director Fury’s office but had been months since Elena had gotten the call asking her to head this mission. Now, here we were,  Wakanda. We’d flown into Entebbe international before hopping in a jeep and being delivered to our hosts. It was just the two of us, on loan from S.H.I.E.L.D. to help with some poachers and stuff...honestly I wasn't really sure why I was here other than to keep Elena company, but I wasn’t complaining. Before we could get into, whatever it is we were doing, we had to be diplomatic and say hello to the people we were working for. Kissing hands and shaking babies...or something like that. Diplomatic missions weren’t really my cup of tea...cups of tea weren’t really my cup of tea, come to think of it, but Elena had been chosen for her experience in the country and I was here to support her. </p><p>   As we pulled up to the edge of a small village a man walked toward the jeeps, waving at us. The drivers slowed to a stop, getting out and gesturing for us to follow as other people exited the huts and began to close in around us. </p><p> </p><p>   “Why do you bring these outsiders here?” The man yelled across the open field in english, I assumed for our benefit. One of the drivers started to stutter but Elena raised her hand to shield her eyes and look at the man before calling back to him. </p><p> </p><p>  “What outsiders W’Kabi? I seem to remember you telling me I was always welcome to visit the Umda tribe.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Ngelosi!” the man held out his arms in greeting, Elena embraced him and turned to introduce me. “Raath said you would be coming before they headed out, they left instruction for you.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Good, I’ll take a look. Oh, this is my friend, Fin.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Fin.” He repeated, looking back and forth between the two of us. “Ngelosi, I did not know American’s came whiter than you. Did you bring her to prove me wrong?” He laughed and handed her some papers. I tried to read them over her shoulder but the handwriting was too rushed for me to decipher. </p><p> </p><p>   “What does it say? You’re making a face.” I asked, the curiosity killing me. </p><p> </p><p>   “It says we’re staying here, looking at the animals they’ve quarantined to see if i can figure out what’s affecting them.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Then why the face? Isn’t that what we came for?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Yes, I just thought we might be out in the park…” She trailed off as a new voice called from behind W'Kabi.</p><p> </p><p>   “Ngelosi!” The male voice that greeted us was a tall man with a small army of women behind him. He greeted Elena with a handshake. “It is good to see you again.” He smiled, his handsome face practically glowing. </p><p> </p><p>   “I told you not to call me that, your highness. Elena is fine.” She grinned back up at him, their height difference almost comical. </p><p> </p><p>   “AH! And I told you that ‘highness’ is not my name, that is my father. To a friend of Wakanda I am T’Challa. If you remember that I may remember to call you Elena.” He winked, I liked the way he said Ee- LEN -ah, with elongated syllables, emphasizing the middle. </p><p> </p><p>   “It’s all I ask, your-T’Challa. This is my friend, Fin. She’s here to help.” When she introduced me and he looked at my direction I made an awkward head bow in his direction. I was no good at this. </p><p> </p><p>   “Please don’t do that. “He smiled. “It is nice to meet you, Fin...Fin is an unusual name, is it not?” I held out my hand, he shook it as he looking me over. </p><p> </p><p>   “It’s short for Finlay.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Finlay!” He said it Fin-ah-lee, and I'd never heard anyone so excited about a name before. “Finlay means ‘white warrior’, You pick your allies well, Elena."</p><p> </p><p>   “I must say, I wasn't expecting this kind of reception.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Why not? You are the only one that did not flee my country when my father was attacked, instead you stayed and helped us protect our wildlife when our resources were needed elsewhere. Wakanda will always be grateful.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I’m glad.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Come, let me take you to where you will be staying and leave you in Ayo’s capable hands.” </p><p> </p><p>   “Staying? Staying here? I thought…” Elena started but T’Challa cut her off. </p><p> </p><p>   “Do not fret, Elena. You will be back in the wild soon, but first we have some things to take care of here.” Ayo, one of his guards women, stepped forward to escort us elsewhere.  </p><p> </p><p>   “I thought we came to help guard, not to be guarded?” I asked, I didn’t mean it to be rude but I was confused. </p><p> </p><p>   “Ayo will only be with you until you get settled. I’m afraid that, while your assistance is much appreciated, your timing is...complicated.” he reassured us, ”Many of the tribe leaders are gathered to discuss the problems we are facing, and so my father and myself cannot give you as much time as we would like. Ayo is not a guard, so much as a guide.” I looked at the woman up and down. She looked more ‘guard’ to me but I kept my mouth shut, I didn't need her to prove it.</p><p> </p><p>   We walked through Umda and Elena explained that it’s name meant ‘border tribe’. We passed fields of sheep and wooden pens that had rhinos loitering in them. I tried not to gawk but our welcoming party must have seen me looking because they stopped, letting me take it all in. </p><p> </p><p>   “I almost forgot!” W’Kabi shook his head. “You see that one?” He pointed to the smallest of the rhinos...or possibly just the furthest away.</p><p> </p><p>   “Yes.” I answered, waiting for him to share his revelation as Elena stepped up beside me. </p><p> </p><p>   “That one was saved by Ngelosi. She led us to a poacher camp and they had him with them there.” He beamed proudly. “He is a good boy.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Does he have a name?” I asked. I saw Prince T’Challa smile. </p><p> </p><p>   “The village named him Ncinane when he arrived, but W’Kabi calls him Allen.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I didn’t know you’d found a calf. Why didn’t you tell me?” Elena smacked his arm playfully. </p><p> </p><p>   “We did not know when we found him if he would survive. He was very weak, we did not want you to worry.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I could have helped.” She crossed her arms. </p><p> </p><p>   “We know, but you were already helping. You already did too much to help.” He started</p><p> </p><p>   “And now we are asking you to help once more.” T’Challa interrupted. “Another small favor, on top of the big one you have done by coming to our aid.”</p><p> </p><p>   “What do you need?”  I asked, Fury didn’t really give as many details as I would have liked and Elena had been uncharacteristically mum on the subject so I wasn’t really clear what we were doing to begin with, adding to the not knowing couldn’t hurt. </p><p> </p><p>   “This would be in an unofficial capacity of course, more...indulging my personal curiosity.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Okay?” My brain immediately went to an inappropriate place but I pushed that thought away. </p><p> </p><p>   “I mentioned that the other tribe leaders were here...For the most part we are all peaceful but every now and then the tribes that hold on to tradition want to discuss the goings on. We always meet, and we always agree to disagree before parting ways again.” T’Challa explained. “Now that I am older, my father is letting me make more decisions to prepare me for the day I must take his place. I managed to convince the Jabari to join us this time, and for the first time I can remember they agreed. I would like you to observe the conversations, I am curious what an outsider might make of them.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I think we can manage that, although I am sure we are not qualified.” Elena exhaled. “But I have a favor to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Name it, Ngelosi.” He smiled. </p><p> </p><p>   “I would like to spend some time in Siboli before we return home, I miss it and it seems Dr. Raath would prefer me here.” </p><p> </p><p>   “I think that can be arranged.” he laid a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently before turning to me. “What about you Finlay? What would you like in return for this favor to us. After all, if Elena trusts you, so does Wakanda.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Could we…” I looked to the guard around the prince and to Ayo, the woman who was meant to be our ‘guide’. “would they be able to show us how to use those spears?” I suddenly found a reason to be excited to be here. I was always eager to learn new hand to hand techniques. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m sure Ayo would be pleased to show you some of our practices while she accompanies you, wouldn’t you Ayo?” T’Challa asked in a way that was not really asking.</p><p> </p><p>   “If Okoye says it is alright, I would look forward to getting the intombazane emhlophe on her back.” Ayo smiled for only a moment before her face went back to it’s stoic seriousness.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Elena. The intimidating woman is talking shit.” I fake whispered to Elena.</p><p> </p><p>  “Yes she is.” Elena agreed and I heard T’challa laughing too. What had I gotten myself into?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 19:28 September 17, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>   Fin was starting to fidget in her chair but it seemed I was the only one that had noticed, everyone else was too busy arguing.  I didn’t blame her, we’d been sitting here listening to small inner-tribe issues being argued and resolved and i appreciated the efficiency of getting the smaller issues out of the way first but it was mind-numbing at best. We hadn’t even been introduced to any of the tribe leaders, but it was coming. T’Chaka couldn't’ just have two random American’s sitting in on their talks. I assumed that’s what had her trying to straighten her clothes and calm her shaking leg.</p><p> </p><p>   “Everyone!” Fin jumped a little as King T’Chaka stood, addressing the room now that each tribe had resolved their own issues and the bulk of the crowd had left. “I know some of you are probably wondering who these outsiders are.” He motioned to us and we stood. </p><p>   “These are our friends, I know some of you remember Elena Allen and the aid she provided in Sibiloi. This is her trusted friend, Finlay Coulson. They will be here to observe.” Several murmurs and grunts of disapproval rolled across the remaining crowd, the King raised his arms to quiet them “If you do not agree with the decision to have them here, that is fine. I will however aak that they be given your respect.”</p><p> </p><p>   We were introduced to the heads of each tribe one at a time. The ummbizi, mrhwebi and umlambo tribes all nodded pleasantly as they shook our hands, clearly on board or at least tolerant of their King’s decision to invite us in. Zuri was there to represent the priests and he came to us, taking our hands in his and bowing to kiss them in greeting. When we’d met King T’Chaka he had done the same and we’d learned it was a sign of respect so when Nakiya, representing the war dogs who were spread across the world, followed Zuri’s gesture I understood which of the people here had actually been on board with our presence. W’Kabi winked at us when the Umda tribe was called upon and I tried not to smile too obviously as he kissed our hands.  </p><p>   The Jabari had waited to enter until the smaller squabbles were done, they had no internal problems that they couldn’t take care of on their own and I had an understanding that they were the most independent of the tribes. Their leader, a large man named M’Baku walked in and stood looking down at us with a serious face. He towered over me and I could swear Fin’s mouth was hanging open a little as she craned her neck up at him. He reached out, taking my hands in his before leaning forward. He didn’t bow but eyed the king to acknowledge that he agreed to our being there, or at least not thinking it was worth fighting over. When M’Baku eventually took his seat I felt the whole room exhale.</p><p> </p><p>   When we were finally released for the evening Ayo took us to the rooms where we would be staying, food waiting on the small table beside two comfortable looking cots with out luggage set beside them. We ate the Ugali and flat bread with shredded beef in relative silence, tired from travel and an unexpected day of diplomacy. I wondered how much of our current 'favor' had been Director Fury's scheming but couldn't bring myself to ask Fin what she thought about it.  After getting settled we spent half hour laying sprawled on the beds, curtains pulled open to enjoy the night breeze as we digested out dinner and tried to fall asleep.</p><p> </p><p>   “You still awake?” Fin whispered.</p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah.” I answered without opening my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>   “You tired?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Not really” I exhaled. “But we need to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>   I heard her roll over and cracked an eye open to see her laying on her side to face me.</p><p> </p><p>   “What?” I asked. </p><p> </p><p>   “Eleeeeena” She pleaded. “Tell me a stoooory.” </p><p> </p><p>   “What ‘stooooory’ do you want to hear?” I asked, mocking her tone. </p><p> </p><p>   “Oh, you know the one.” she raised an eyebrow. “The only one I don't already know.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Fin.” I started to argue.</p><p> </p><p>   “Come on! You keep telling me that you’ll tell me, when’s a better time than while you're back where it all happened...or close to it anyway.” She smiled. She was right, I would be lying to say that it hadn’t been all I’d thought about on the flight here. </p><p> </p><p>   “Fine.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>     <b> [Elena - 17:00 August 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p><em> <span class="u">Safari Song - Greta Van Fleet</span> </em>  </p><p>  <em>  I hadn't realized how fast time would move in the real world. Sure, having tested through several grades, school had gone more quickly for me than others but it still seemed an eternity to my teenage self. Fourteen wasn't early enough to graduate high school if you ask me.     </em></p><p>
  <em>    A few more years of school and spending all of my free time volunteering with animal rescues across the country in my spare time hadn't left much time for me to contemplate...well...time. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I couldn't complain, I loved the life I was living and wouldn't trade it for the world. The wolf sanctuary in New Mexico had been my favorite by far, it felt like home, but the Sibiloi national park was becoming a close second.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I had been here for three months, studying with a program that taught conservation and gave us hands on experience with some of the animals as well as getting an up close look at the horror that is the poaching industry. The program was meant to go for six months but an assassination attempt on Wakanda’s king had most of my fellow students scrambling for their passports, afraid there would be a travel ban. I wasn't afraid, after all the trouble it had been to work up the nerve to get here in the first place I didn't care if I had to spend the last three months alone in the Savannah, I was staying.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    My time with Dr. Raath in the program had opened up an opportunity I could have never imagined. When I informed him of my intentions to stay he offered me a position with his team and I accepted without hesitation. The chance to work with them in the park was a once in a lifetime opportunity, even more so for someone who wasn’t a local. They outfitted me with all the gear I could need including a Toyota Hilux equipped with an old Alakan 6.5 cabover that would be both my transportation and home for the foreseeable future. Otherwise i was left (mostly) to my own devices. I did have a satellite phone for emergencies but otherwise it was my job to study the animals, making sure none of the predators were getting too brave at the edges of the land where they might venture into villages and keeping an eye out for poachers. It was peaceful, not having to worry about people, the animals I could handle it was humans I couldn't stand.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I felt at peace here, i couldn’t explain it. Even though I was by myself I didn't feel alone here, I felt safe. Sure every once in a while, I felt like I was being watched, but with all the animals around statistically speaking, i was. I had no proof it was anything more nefarious. Even when the smell of a carcass left to rot nearby had wafted to my campsite, I didn't hesitate to debate the danger as I set out on my course. When I found it I wasn't sure how I had missed it the day before, it wasn't fresh, but the wind had changed since nightfall. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I dressed, grabbing my tranquilizer gun and camera before I made my way to the source of the odor. A rhino lay dead in the dirt, unmarred but for the missing horn. Damn it. I circled wide as i took photos, not wanting to add my scent to any other human stink in hopes scavengers would come and feast, no use having it all be a waste. I shook my head in disgust when I saw the large caliber bullet holes in the animal's side and head, poor thing. If they had used tranquilizers they could have taken their goods and left him to live but that would have been too humane I suppose. I caught the scent of man lingering beneath the stench of decay, it smelled sour. I turned in the direction it led and my feet moved before my brain had decided to follow the trail. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I didn't track quietly, I know I should have, but I was too mad. Mad at the senseless violence, the waste of life, all for something they could have taken with no harm to any creature. My feet fell hard on the dirt and clouds of fine dust rose in my wake, before long the scent fell off and I realized they must have gotten into a vehicle. I would still be able to follow but the scent would be harder to find in the air than on the ground. I looked back in the direction of camp, turning back was the smarter choice but when the wind carried the rhinos smell to me I knew the wise choice wasn't the right one, not this time.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Soldier - 18:25 August 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I had been watching the women for a few days, sneaking into camp and borrowing food and water when she left to watch the animals. I found a strange humor in that, she watched them as they went about their day, unsuspecting, and I did the same to her. Once or twice I was sure she’d noticed me but I knew it was impossible. I didn't know why I watched and sometimes wondered if she knew why she did. I expected that she did, after all, I wasn't even really sure how I had gotten here. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I remembered the mission, I remembered it failing...I remembered the screams. It was the screaming that shook me from my task and I had run. I didn't remember stopping, but I must have because when I woke up I was in a tree and a giraffe was startled away from it's meal when I stirred. I had apologized to the giraffe, although I wasn't sure he understood Russian. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    The woman was curious, I’d kept watch over her and although I couldn't explain why I felt that I needed to. I’d watch her come and go from her camp, sometimes making trips for supplies, sometimes to track animals. Occasionally she would leave with no gear at all, be gone for hours and come back looking like she’d been wrestling animals in the dirt. Curious indeed.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>   I had almost revealed my presence here before, when i thought she was in danger. I had seen her surrounded by a pack of wild dogs and thought the worst but as I approached I realized they weren’t attacking her, they were playing with her. It was so odd i couldn’t help but watch as she and the younger members of the group played some weird variation of tag while the adults lounged to the side, unconcerned. I’d been less worried for her safety with the animals after that, but the men who had killed in the night had been too close to her and I didn't like it.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 18:47 August 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I found the poacher camp three miles from the rhino carcass, it was unoccupied as I approached but I could see and smell that the rhino hadn't been their only quarry. Skins were stretched and hung to dry, boxes of horns and tusks and teeth littered the ground. The jeep I’d followed sat nearby and I knew the men must not be far off, but they were far enough away that I couldn't hear them. I slid the bag from my neck and opened the buttoned flap. I reached in and pulled out the sat phone, turning on the device to get the exact GPS coordinates. I took more photos while i waited for the sat link, the more photos i had the less likely the poachers could get rid of all the evidence before they were brought in. Eventually the satellite found the position and I saved the information before repacking the phone. I took off and didn't stop again until I was back in my RV. My chest was heaving from the exertion of the run as I pulled the sat phone out again I called the one of the contacts I had made in the program. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “mholweni.” the voice that answered was deep and male.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “W’Kabi, it's Elena.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Ah!” he sounded happy to hear from me, probably glad I hadn't been eaten by a lion or trampled by a hippo. “How are you? Everything ok out there?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I'm fine, thank you for asking, but I did come across something I thought you should be made aware of. Do you have something to write with?” he confirmed he did and I read off the coordinates. “if you move quickly and quietly you should be able to catch the poachers before they move on. They have a variety of contraband and took a rhino sometime yesterday.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “that is very bad. Thank you for alerting us, we will be out soon. Please stay away, we do not want you to place yourself in any danger.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I smiled at the genuine concern in his tone as I promised to stay in my camp until they let me know the poacher camp had been cleared. He thanked me again and dropped the call. I laid back on my camper bed and exhaled, resigned to be here for a while. I toyed with the idea of a nap, the warm dry air on my skin was caressing me with promises of a deep and seamless sleep. I made myself sit up, the thought of anyone coming to check in and finding me asleep quickly sending that idea out of my mind. I moved to the small table where my laptop sat, i opened it and starting uploading the photos from the digital camera to email to the park. I had an old school polaroid too but it was being utilized for personal photos more than anything. Losing a physical copy of a photo was easier than several digital copies. There were photos on the digital that i was saving for myself, carrying around two cameras seemed redundant, but on the days i planned to go near the elephants or water in general i was hesitant to bring the more expensive equipment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I thought I heard something outside the camper but when I stopped to listen everything was quiet, I wondered if spotting the poachers had me paranoid then realized that literally everything was quiet...even the birds had gone mute. I crouched, lowering my center of gravity and stalking forward on the balls of my feet toward the door. Something outside shifted and the sun reflected off the movement sending flashes of light dancing through the back window. I lifted my head and scented the air, but the stench of the carcass overwhelmed all other smells. No animals were reflective so unless a cyborg hyena had stumbled into camp it was safe to assume human and I tried to think what could have caused the light refraction, a metal canteen? A camera lens? A knife? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I could think about it all day and never know. I grabbed the nearest thing to me I could use as a weapon, the machete I'd used to clear the spot of tall grass a couple of days ago, and waited. The light danced across the window again and I pounced out the door, swinging the machete, more to startle than hurt since I didn't know who or what I was attacking. The blow came to an abrupt stop mid swing and I heard metal grinding on metal. I looked up at the machete in my hand, dumbfounded. The target of my attack was holding the blade in his hand and for a second my brain couldn’t process how that was possible without his fingers hitting the dirt. When my thoughts caught up to my eyes i realized how he’d caught the machete and what had been casting reflections...it was his hand, his fucking metal hand. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <em> “So you're the reason My water is lasting half as long as it should. I was starting to think the local baboon troupe had figured out how to open my water reservoirs” I smiled, a defense mechanism I'd learned to deploy when dealing with people. My tone was amused, not accusing but my body language was still defensive, even as he lowered the machete. </em></p><p> </p><p><em>      [ </em> <em> Why are you here alone? It is not safe] </em></p><p>
  <em>    “Почему ты здесь один? Это небезопасно.” He asked. At least, i thought it was a question based on the inflection. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I’m sorry I don’t speak...Is that russian?” I felt stupid, but how was i supposed to know i’d need to know russian in Africa?  Stupid me to think Spanish was the most useful language elective in high school.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    [Of course, pretty American girls don’t speak Russian. She is alone, in this place and  surrounded by animals]  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    “Конечно, довольно американские девушки не говорят по-русски. Она одна, в этом  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> месте и окружена животными, speaking Russian would not protect her from the predators in the night.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I stood, staring at him dumbfounded for a moment, trying to work out the contents of the sentence itself. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Either I picked up Russian very quickly or that last bit was in english. You speak english?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes.” It was only one word, but it was one i understood and I was surprised that there wasn’t a noticeable accent.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Why are you out here alone? It’s dangerous...there are bad men here.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Thank you for your concern, but I can handle myself. I’ve notified the authorities of the ‘bad men’ nearby and for your information I haven’t had an issue with any of the predators I’ve come across.” I was responding to his first comment but when his eyes flicked up to meet mine the hair on the back of my neck stood, realizing that perhaps I’d underestimated the danger as this particular man seemed to be more of a predator than anything that I had been studying the past several months.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I saw you leave this morning, you found the носорог...” He searched for the right word. ”rhinoceros and went to find the men who had killed it. Those men were looking for you too, I think.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “How long have you been watching me?” I asked suspiciously. Was he why i kept feeling eyes on me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I was here before you. I’ve been sleeping in that tree.” He pointed. “I don’t know why I'm here.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I wasn’t sure if he literally meant here as in this exact spot, here as in Wakanda or heaven forbid he was getting existential. I glanced toward the tree that was several hundred feet away. I’d never noticed anything odd in or around the old Baobab tree. But then I’d only parked here a few days ago and I’d been so busy sniffing out all the local predators’ dens that I failed to notice the one staking out my own.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I had a job to do.” He continued. “I didn’t want to do it. I found this place.” He gestured to the empty space around us. “I thought I would be left alone.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “This whole place belongs to the Wakandan National Government, it’s part of a preservation effort for endangered species. Someone would have come along eventually.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. What the hell kind of life did this man live? He was literally sleeping in a tree to avoid his job, something weird was going on here. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I should go.” He turned and started to walk away, a hand pressed to his side. Shit, I hadn't even noticed the make shift bandages. In my defense the shiny metal arm was quite the distraction but i chastised my inattentiveness.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You’re injured. “ The words came out before my brain had decided if it was a good idea. Oh well, too late now. ”I can help, if you want...where else do you have to go? Back to your tree?” I wasn’t sure why i hadn’t let him leave. Maybe I had a soft spot for broken things and picking up strays? Maybe it was as simple as knowing he’d been here all along and hadn’t bothered me. Maybe. Some part of me knew the truth, the part of me that was itself a predator saw whatever lived in him and wanted it’s company.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Soldier - 20:22 August 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    “Do you have a name?” I looked up at her face and realized it must not have been the first time she’d asked. My mind must have wandered while she changed the bandages on my side, I wasn't sure how something so simple could already make it feel so much better. She opened her mouth to ask the question again and I held up a hand to stop her, my head tilting to the side as I gathered my thoughts. Name...what was my name...Images flashed, an animal, a red building, men screaming at me. Another shouting “report, soldier!’ over and over until the words blended into a single cacophony. A little girl’s voice whispered… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yasha.” I echoed the child’s voice. “My name is Yasha.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well...Yasha. I’m Elena.” She gave me a once over again, her eyes looking at nothing in particular as thoughts raced behind them. I wondered if she was thinking about how to kill me, so i couldn’t hurt her. I wondered if that’s what she should have been thinking. No, I shook my head, I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt anybody and if she wanted to kill me she wouldn’t be bandaging my side. I realized she was asking a question again and focused on her voice. “Are you hungry?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I won’t hurt you.” The words that had come out had been an unintentional response, she smiled. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>    “If i thought you were going to hurt me i would have shot you full of </em> <em> etorphine as you walked away instead of offering to feed you. So do you want some food or not? You look like you haven’t eaten in a while.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes...please.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    We ate in relative silence, the food was hot and good. She was right, I needed it. Afterwards she went into her truck and i stayed by the fire, unsure what to do. Should i leave? Could I stay by the fire or would she not like that? Was she coming back out? I still held the bowl she’d given me to eat from in my hands and I felt an overwhelming sense of uncertainty that I wasn't used to.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    The camper door squeaked as she came back out and I exhaled a breath I hadn't known I was holding. She took the empty bowl from my hands, replacing it with a thick blanket.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Stay by the fire if you want...if you prefer your tree at least take that with you. It would be rude to die of exposure and have me feel guilty about it.” She watched me unfold the blanket and wrap it around my shoulders, pausing a moment before she went back inside. Too late my brain remembered what I was supposed to have done.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Thank you.” I said it to no one and the words sounded foreign to my ears but I knew they were right. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 09:12 August 2nd, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I woke up the next morning and got dressed, planning to go about my day as usual. I didn’t know what I had expected of the stray I'd picked up, but when I looked out of the camper window to see him sleeping by the low burning fire i’d been genuinely surprised that he’d stayed. I hadn’t expected him to say thank you either but i’d heard him as I closed the door. It seemed the uncivilized tree dwelling was a new development. I watched him sleeping while I waited for my coffee to brew, one of the few luxuries I'd insisted on. His face was to me, his back to the fire, and I could see his brows twisted in frustration. His body twitched like a dreaming dog and the sounds he murmured were panicked. He looked...broken. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    When he had been sitting beside me eating dinner he had been stoic and calm, awkward as hell but not in a bad way. I wasn’t good at casual conversation myself and it was nice to have company that didn’t demand it. Now he seemed like a different person. I remembered the prothstetic arm and wondered if he had been a soldier, the arm wasn’t like anything I'd seen before but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. Maybe the nightmares were related? Lots of men who lose limbs come home with PTSD from the ordeal, hell some don't even take physical injuries.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I closed my eyes and exhaled, making up my mind. I didn’t usually make a habit of helping people, as a rule I stuck with animals because they couldn’t help themselves but something told me this man could use all the help he could get.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I drank my first cup of coffee as I cooked enough breakfast for two, making a mental note to send a message for a rations refill soon if i was going to be sharing. I refilled my coffee, along with a second cup, and carefully stepped out the door. He seemed to still be asleep but his face was lax and he was very still. He must have heard the door and woken up because he was clearly pretending to sleep now. I set a plate of eggs and bacon about a foot in front of him, the coffee followed, just out of arm’s reach so it wouldn’t be knocked over. I walked to the other side of the fire where I'd left a small folding table, setting down my breakfast before stoking the fire when i say him reach for the plate.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Good morning.” His back tensed a little and i felt guilting for startling him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Good morning.” He sat up, blanket held tightly around him with the metal hand as he pulled his breakfast closer with the other. “Thank you.” He lifted the mug of coffee toward me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You’re welcome. How did you sleep?”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    He shrugged.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “So…”i took a deep breath, preparing myself to jump right in. “what are you doing out here?” </em>
  <em>When that got no response, I kept talking, explaining how I'd come to be there in hopes that opening up would encourage him to do the same. By the time I’d finished we’d both eaten and I needed to go about my day. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You don’t have to say, if you don’t want to. Everybody is running from something, that’s your business, but you’re welcome to share my fire...I’ve got work to get to. You can stay here or back in your tree, either way is fine with me.” </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. lil red riding hood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>[Fin - 17:00 October 14, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>   We’d been here almost two weeks and the “discussions” were still going. Every now and then something interesting would pop up, like how the New York incident was handled. Elena was paying more attention but she also had Raath’s notes to look over, which were at least an acceptable distraction. I had to make my own entertainment so for the most part I spent my time seeing how many times I could sing Bohemian Rhapsody in my head while each person took their turn at the podium. The standing record was 19. King T’Chaka was my favorite speaker so far, anytime he took the podium he spoke his opinion quickly and concisely, getting to his point without all the ass kissing. I hadn’t even managed one rhapsody while he’d been speaking. We had gotten to spend some time with the Royal family between the long days, the king and his wife were kind and pleasant enough people to be around and princess shuri...Well, she was hands down my favorite wakandan from the conversations i was able to have but i think queen Rhamonda was afraid to let her get to know us. I'm not sure if it was something she was afraid Shuri would do or that we might say but she was seldom left to her own devices when we were around.</p><p>   Prince T‘Challa was the easiest to talk to. It surprised me, I expected the prince to be more...I don't know... soft? It was the best word I could think of, princes in my mind were men who’d had things handed to them growing up and held masquerades to meet princesses. Alright, so my frame of reference may be children’s movies which would explain why I was off base. But i never expected him to be in the field training hand to hand with The Dora Milaje. The Dora Milaje, I'd learned, were an elite force of body guards specifically trained to defend the royal family of Wakanda. They were all women, and badasses, despite their group name being ‘the adored ones’. It made them sound way more cuddly than they actually are. </p><p>   After the first week T’Challa invited me to their training grounds while Elena worked with the animals. I was fine staying with her but I was also more in the way than I was helpful and everyone could see my frustration. I watched them spar in the field of sand open mouthed for about an hour as they beat the shit out of each other. Some with hand to hand, some with bo staffs, others with all styles of sword and spear. I even saw Nankia with Chakrams, which was impressive. When none of the women volunteered to include me T’Challa himself walked me onto an empty circle that had been drawn in the loose earth. I stood there like a dummy as he took a fighting stance, motioning me to mimic him. I looked around and noticed all of the Dora Milaje had stopped sparring to watch. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m pretty sure if i hit you they will kill me.” I whispered. He laughed. </p><p> </p><p>   “They will kill no one unless I command it, and you would need to hit me first.” He smiled. I dropped into a low fighters stance, mirroring his. “Besides, you cannot be afraid to stand up for yourselves here, yes you are our guests but not all of the tribes will give you respect just because of that. To them you are still outsiders, they will push you to see if you fall.”</p><p>   He lunged forward faster than I'd anticipated and I barely dodged the blow. He kept moving forward with the momentum and I had to turn to face him. He was walking along the circle of the mat like a cat toying with a mouse before lashing out again and again. Great, i was a plaything. I didn’t really like that. </p><p>   I didn’t have time to think about it, he lashed out again, this time I ducked more quickly but still had no time to counter. He paced again, never letting me get solid footing as I pivoted to keep an eye on him. The third time he struck I was ready, I grabbed his arms in mine and threw us both forward. He rolled us as we hit the ground and he ended up on top, my right arm pinned under me and my left in his grip. He was smiling. </p><p> </p><p>   “You did better than I expected.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Thanks, I think.” He stood, pulling me to my feet with him. Okoye stepped beside him and I saw my life flash before my eyes. Yes i’d gotten my ass beat by the prince but i’d still had the audacity to fight him. </p><p> </p><p>   “I will allow her to be trained.” The commanding woman spoke. T’Challa nodded, acknowledging her. “But I have a condition.”</p><p> </p><p>T’Challa glared at his general, impatiently waiting. She looked him in the eye as she continued, speaking too quickly in Xhosa for me to follow, Although i did catch what I thought was something about my hair.</p><p> </p><p>  “I don't think that is really necessary.” T’Challa turned to me. “She says you must shave your head.” I crossed my arms, thinking. I was pretty sure i wasn’t going to look anywhere near as badass as the Okoye with my head shaved, but i was also pretty sure this was a test. </p><p> </p><p>   “I'm willing to negotiate terms.” I shrugged. I wanted to learn, and maybe I could get away with only shaving a little of my head...besides, it would grow back. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Yasha - 09:33 August 18st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    For the first several days we stuck to a routine, she would clean my wounds and I would sleep by the fire. She would feed me and I would sit silently or answer in short one or two word responses. It had only been a week when she decided to change the routine. She walked out with breakfast, I was already awake and putting more wood on the fire.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Good morning.” She greeted me as she passed me a plate of warm food. I took it and thanked her. I tried to smile but i wasn’t sure i was doing it right so i stopped, she made it look easier than it was. We ate in silence and afterwards she took our plates inside and readied to go about her day, as she left she called back to me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “While i’m gone i would encourage you to use the shower to keep that wound clean, it will be much easier than me changing your dressing every day. It’s the little tent on the other side of the camper, it has solar so there’s hot water...it’s nice. I’ll be back in a few hours for lunch.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I sat there on the ground for a while after she left, processing. Eventually i got up and walked around the camper to the tent that was staked to one side. I had seen it before but I hadn't realized it’s purpose, she must have been using it while i slept because it smelled of fresh water and light soap. It was about eight feet tall with a zipper on one side and a black panel mounted on top. Once inside I realize that, although the walls had seemed solid from the outside looking in, I could see through them now. I felt relieved, the idea of being in a box and unable to see what was coming had unnerved me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I took off my clothes, tossing them out of the zippered door before turning the lever for water. It started too hot and I jumped back, quickly turning the lever to adjust the temperature to something less than scalding before I could step back into the stream. She was right, it was nice.  I watched the rivulets of water and dirt run out of my hair and down my body. The water stung the wound in my side but it looked better than it had the day before. I stood in the cascade, running my hands through my hair until the water ran clear, and I turned the shower off.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    Now that i was clean I could smell my clothes and wondered how the woman had managed to be so close to me without recoiling. I didn’t want to put them back on like this, where I would be smelling them literally under my nose all day. I didn’t want to use any more of her water either. I had seen her take a plastic water tank to the east for water and decided to take the clothes there to wash. I balled them up and held them in my left arm, deciding to take an empty water tank with me to refill to thank her for the shower.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    As I walked I saw no one, only animals. A giraffe watched me pass and I thought it could be the same one who had found me in the tree but I couldn't be sure. When I greeted it in russian it responded much the same as the first. Once or twice I felt the eyes of predators on me but they never drew close enough to see, I was glad. I didn’t want to kill them.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Once my clothes were as clean as I could manage i laid them on a rock in the sun while I filled the water tank. By the time I was done most of the clothes were dry and I donned them for my walk back.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 11:47 August 18st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>     I made my rounds, checking in on a few of the more elusive animal families in the park, the ones that wouldn't let me near them as a human but were confused enough by this form that they tolerated my presence. The cheetahs were the most fun, more doglike than other large cats they always greeted me with a bounce and a playful shoulder bump. I would bump back and usually go about my day. The youngest cheetah, still young enough to be with mom, grabbed me around the neck with her front paws. Practicing her pounce as she spat at the wolf fur she’d managed to get stuck to her tongue. She was cute but needed to work on her take down. I gently rolled onto the ground, taking her with me and playfully kicking at her with my back feet. She let me go and bounced back, putting distance between us. I wasn’t sure animals rolled their eyes like humans but if they could, mama cheetah was. She didn’t have time for this game and I wasn't going to test her patience. I got up, nudging the kit to her mother before I kept walking.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The other animals greeted me with huffs and snorts, an occasional flick of their tails. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    My mind wandered back to the morning,  I hadn’t meant to spy, not really. If I'd wanted to spy I would have stayed near camp, how was I supposed to know he was going to take the initiative to refill the water and wash his clothes? I kept telling myself that this was a coincidence that he’d shown up where I was, and I almost believed it but some part of me had known...somehow.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I had laid low in the grass, head on my paws as I watched him trying to rinse the grime from his shirt in the river. The breeze carried his scent to me and the tall grass tickled at the tips of my ears. Seeing him without his shirt I had more questions than answers, the metal arm seemed grafted to his body unlike any prosthetic I'd seen before. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I shook my head, i wasn’t going to figure him out in one day and i’d already lost track of time. The sun moved toward the horizon and everything seemed calm. While I was thankful there wasn’t a crisis part of my brain whispered that it’s always calmest before the storm.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That’s me, full of that undying optimism. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>
  <b>[Yasha - 19:02 August 18st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I was pacing a rut into the dirt beside the campfire. I didn’t know why I was worried. The woman...Elena, she had proven she could take care of herself. I’d been watching her for weeks and she hadn’t needed my help then, she didn’t now...But she’d always been back to camp well before sunset. Every day </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    Every day I'd watched she was back by now...what if something had happened? What if someone had come looking for me and found her? What if they killed her? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I didn’t understand why my chest hurt when I thought about these things, people died all the time. Most of the time I was the one killing them, but I didn't want her to be hurt. She was generous and kind and did not deserve any harm to come to her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “FUCK!” a startled fox kestrel fled it’s perch on a nearby branch at my exclamation and I started marching in the direction Elena had left that morning. After about a mile on the rough path through the grass it opened up enough that I could find the tracks from her boots. I followed those into thicker brush...I saw her shirt first, it was light blue and stood out against the dull tan backdrop. It had been draped over the top of a bush and for a moment I thought maybe she’d just taken it off, maybe she had another under it. I looked around for her but saw no movement, I did see her boots tucked under the same bush along with the rest of her clothes.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Alright, let’s think this through. Option one, she was taken and they left her close here to lure me out of hiding. Possible. Option two, something ate her and neatly folded her clothes... less likely...Option three, she decided to run naked through the savannah. Maybe? I didn’t think she would do something like that, it was more likely than option two but… </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    A twig snapped to my left, i turned quickly expecting an attack. Nothing happened, I lowered myself into a crouch and waited for another sound. Still nothing. I decided to rule out option two for good and focus on the remainder. If it were option one the trap should have sprung by now, if it wasn’t...if it wasn’t then i was standing between a naked woman and her clothes… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I moved back into the path where I'd found the boot prints, making more noise than i needed to so that whatever had been nearby could hear me leave. Once I was away, back to the clothes I waited again, this time I heard movement. It wasn’t a person, people have a very distinct gait, this was an animal. I turned to face the discarded clothes again, ready to shoo away a curious carnivore. When the animal reached the small clearing I blinked, when the sight didn’t change I was flummoxed. I had expected a wild dog, a baboon, maybe even a young lion. What I hadn't expected was a north american timber wolf. I knelt, getting on eye level and trying to seem like less of a threat, i didn’t want to spook it.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What are you doing way out here?” I whispered softly. It lifted its head to look at me. It saw me, it had to, it was looking right at me but it didn’t run. Instead it looked at me with an expression that i could have sworn was startled panic followed by annoyance. Fair enough, that would probably be my reaction to running into me too. “Hey, it’s ok. I won’t hurt you.” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>    The wolf stepped closer, cautiously sniffing my outstretched hand before looking back at the folded clothes.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Those belong to my friend. I came out here looking for her...she was late getting home...have you seen her?” The wolf sat, cocking its head to one side. “She’s blonde, pretty...about this tall.” I held up my hand about 5 feet from the packed dirt. The wolf huffed at me. “Haven’t seen her huh. That’s too bad, you would like her, she’s really nice...i’m sure she would love to know what the hell you’re doing out here.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    The wolf started to move back toward the clothes, sniffing at the bottom hem of the shirt that was hanging on the bush.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Hey, leave that alone...come on.” it kept nosing the shirt until it fell onto the ground, I stood looking around the flat land for any sign that Elena was nearby. “Come on, volk, that is not yours.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>     “Actually, it is.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I turned toward the voice, the wolf was gone and Elena stood by the bush. Her shirt was on and she was bent forward, reaching for where her pants were tucked behind her boots. I turned away.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I didn’t hear you walk up...I was talking to the wolf.” I explained, embarrassed. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes, you did. And yes you were.” she answered, I looked back and saw she was dressed and putting on her boots.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Did you see the wolf?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Not exactly.” She smiled nervously.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “But you believe me? That I saw a wolf here?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Why? You didn’t see it, it doesn’t make sense for it to be here.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I believe you because even though i didn’t see it, i know it was here. It was silver and had--” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Blue eyes.” I answered with her nodding, still confused. She finished tying her shoes and stood, looking at my face for a long time like she was trying to read it. I didn’t realize before that the wolf’s eyes were the same blue as hers. I looked around.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Where did it go? You had to have seen.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I did.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Where--?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Don’t worry about it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> <b> [Elena - 19:32 August 18st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Lil’ Red Riding Hood - Laura Gibson</span>  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>   We walked back in the dim twilight, he walked a few paces behind me as we both kept a vigilant eye on our surroundings. I was making sure no crepuscular predators were stalking us from the shadows but I suspected he was looking for his new wolf friend. Good. Better he thought there was a random wolf than the truth. The truth...Ha! Who would believe that anyway? ‘No random stranger, there isn’t a wolf. It was just little ole me going for a walk in my fur coat.’      </em>
</p><p>
  <em>     Yeah. That would be a rational discussion i’m sure. I was an idiot, I should have stopped going out like that after I'd invited him to stay, it was only a matter of time until I slipped. I was surprised he hadn’t seen already, he must not have been watching the camp for too long because my first few weeks out here I was coming and going in wolf form. I realized that wouldn’t be good if anyone from the park came to check in on me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I should have realized how late in the day it was, should have realized that changing the routine could possibly agitate my guest enough to think something was wrong. I hadn’t expected him to come looking for me but i should have seen that possibility too! After all, don’t all strays look for the one who feeds them when it’s dinner time? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Rule 1, stay unseen.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Elena…?” His voice was low, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to interrupt the silence but he had.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Hmm?” I didn’t speak back, I didn't really want to talk. I was having enough conversation with myself about how stupid i’d been.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Nevermind.” He shook his head.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Ok.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “It’s just...it’s stupid.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well we’re almost back at camp, will it feel less stupid to talk about over dinner?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No.” He chuckled. “Probably not.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well decide if we’re talking about it while i get the food together. If we aren't, then we won’t” I was relieved he finally wanted to talk but I was too distracted to pry if he was being coy about it.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I walked straight into the camper, replaying the last moments in my mind. Walking back to my clothes and smelling him nearby. I could have stopped and turned around. I didn’t. Getting close and seeing him standing there, I stopped and hid but when he stepped back I walked into the open? Why? I could have easily come back to camp, changed and dressed while he was out here and come to get him...i could have found a way to explain the clothes… </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Instead I'd walked right out in front of him and let him see me. Why? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    ‘Maybe you wanted to know what he thought of you. All of you’. The wolf’s voice reasoned. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I shook away the thought. No, I didn't let people see me. That was the rule.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘But he isn’t just people, you can sense it. He’s a hunter, like you.’ it argued. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But he isn’t like me. I argued. He’s human. He wouldn’t understand what I am.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I carried the food out to the folding tables by the fire, setting his down as I passed without speaking. He looked up, his expression almost hurt at the silence. He waited for me to start talking, as I usually did, but when i ate quietly instead he spoke.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I decided that what i wanted to say is ridiculous...but i’m going to say it anyway...i’ve seen a lot of crazy things, I'm not sure this would even make the top five.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I nodded, motioning him to continue.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “So...you ARE the wolf...right?” He said it calmly, like it was the most normal conversation in the world. I, on the other hand, nearly choked on the water I'd been about to swallow.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Wha-What?” I managed through the coughing fit, my lungs desperately trying to expel the water i’d inhaled. Smooth, nice cover Elena. He will 100% believe you now. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You didn’t see it but you knew it was there because it was you, and you knew you were there. It makes perfect sense.” He took a drink himself without issue. Irrationally my brain thought ‘show off’ at his uninhibited water swallowing as i continued to cough. Once i got it under control i took a deep breath and composed myself.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “How does that make perfect sense?” I asked, genuinely confused by that point. It didn’t even make sense to me and I knew it was true.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well, you’re American and so was the wolf. Neither of you ran away from me. When you appeared it was gone and you were getting dressed...because wolves don't need clothes. I mean, sure it’s a little unusual but every culture has a wawkalak so they must be true.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Wawa-cat?” I tried the word but it was too heavy on my english speaking tongue. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Wawkalak, skinwalker, shapeshifter. People who become animals, who walk in both worlds.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Every culture has dragons too, it doesn't mean they exist.” I countered.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Maybe.” He shrugged. “But who's to say?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I tried to think of an argument, I had nothing. Clearly the ‘don’t be silly that doesn’t exist’ route was a no go.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I won’t tell anyone. Who would believe me if I did? After all I'm just a crazy man with a metal arm who sleeps in trees and relies on beautiful women to feed him so he doesn’t die.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well when you put it that way.” I smiled, getting to my feet. “It’s getting late, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Goodnight volk.” he said over his shoulder as I walked inside. I remember he’d used the word before, contextually I understood it’s meaning. “Wolf.” </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Fin - 17:00 November 4, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>   I was improving, that much was true, but the Dora Milaje were better. I was laying flat on my back in the sand looking up at Ayo who was smiling. She smiled more when she was fighting, and winning, than I ever saw while she was on duty. </p><p> </p><p>   “You should have listened to Okoye, your pretty american hair is making you off balance.” She teased. I hadn’t shaved my head, despite Okoye’s terms, but I had let Shuri plait the top of my head in a multitude of thin interwoven braids before i shaved the sides in compromise. Okoye had laughed so hard I thought i’d broken her but she agreed that Ayo would teach me whatever I wanted to learn. She admitted that she didn’t think I had the balls to even shave a little and she was impressed. Ayo on the other hand constantly reminded me that i’d half assed the head shaving. </p><p> </p><p>   “Are you done, intombazane emhlophe?” She asked, holding out her bo staff to help me up. I took it and jumped to my feet with the momentum and landed before shaking some loose sand from my braids and wondering if I SHOULD have just shaved it all. Nah.</p><p> </p><p>   “You know, you could call me Fin.” I spoke between breaths, crouching back into a fighting stance I'd been taught. </p><p> </p><p>   “I could.” She grinned, twirling the staff behind her. </p><p> </p><p>   “If you aren’t going to use names, why don’t I at least get a cool name? Elena’s name means ‘angel’, mine means ‘white girl’.” </p><p> </p><p>I jumped over the staff as Ayo swung it under my legs, trying to knock me off balance. </p><p> </p><p>   “She earned her name, you only arrived. You can have a name when you earn one.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Great.” I dodged another swoop of the staff, this time to my face. She was using the same pattern she’d taken me down with before and I knew the next would be a gut shot. I left an opening, baiting her to continue her complacency and take the shot. She did. I side stepped, grabbing the staff and pulling it past me before swinging around and pushing her the rest of the way over, still off balance from me yanking the staff away. She landed on her back and I brought the staff down as hard as I could, stopping it centimeters from her nose. </p><p> </p><p>   “Boop.” I poked the tip of her nose with the stick before offering it to her in the same gesture she had shown me. She got to her feet laughing. </p><p> </p><p>   “You pick this up quicker than I expected...Intombazane emhlophe.” She added the name as an afterthought to irk me. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah well, still not good enough.” I said as she lunged at me with the staff, I dodged but she still managed to jab my bottom ribs. I grabbed the staff but this time she let go instead of falling with me, I swung it over my head and around, hitting the side of her knee. She’d jumped but i’d aimed high, anticipating her move. I brought the staff around to the other side and froze when a voice rang out across the field. </p><p> </p><p>   “Hey!” Elena called from the edge of the training field. “Are you coming or not? If I have to sit through more talking, so do you.” </p><p> </p><p>   “Go, you do not want the King to be waiting on you.” Ayo teased as she left the circle, She waited for me to dust some more sand off, I shook my head again, hoping the sand wasn’t noticeable and realizing no one here would actually care. </p><p> </p><p>   T’Chaka opened the discussions with an announcement that had my full attention. Over the last few days he and T’Challa had been talking to us about our observations during our time here, both during the political discussions and in our day to day activities. They seemed pleased to see that we were enjoying our time and T’Challa loved to debate perspectives on every topic, but I thought the arrangement was just that. T’Chaka was announcing that we would be speaking to the tribe leaders. I wasn’t ready for that, public speaking wasn’t really a thing I enjoyed. I saw Okoye smirking as I felt the blood drain from my face and something told me she’d encouraged this. Seeing the small army of women scattered in the room as the majority of the people left did make me a little more comfortable, I’d spent more of my time here with them than almost anyone else but I spent most of my energy trying not to hyperventilate as King T’Chaka gave us the floor. I let Elena go first. Her ideas mostly stayed in her professional wheelhouse, animals and conservation, and while some of the tribes had differing views on letting outsiders help them i didn’t think her opinions over all would be met with too much animosity. It also didn’t hurt that she already had their respect, she was Wakanda’s Neglosi and had proven that she was on their side. I was still just the ‘white girl’ and although the Dora Milaje had accepted me enough to let me spar with them, that didn’t mean any of the other tribes would show me any respect. </p><p>   Elena sat and I scanned the tribe leaders as i stood, womdering if it would have been easier with a crowd large enough to not see all the individual faces waiting for me to speak. My hands were sweating and I wished this was easier, wished I was better prepared. I would rather be fighting Ayo than giving strangers my opinions on their culture, which I knew very little about. I opened my mouth to speak and a voice from the crowd shouted the loud “Awhoo” of a gorilla warning at the same time. I didn’t turn my head but scanned the crowd with my eyes as I opened my mouth to speak again, this time when the hoot sounded I saw a large body move in the front left. M'Baku. He had been tolerant of our presence here but apparently the tolerance for outsiders had expired with me. I laughed nervously and saw prince T’Challa move to stand beside me, arms crossed as he stared down M'Baku silently. I recalled him telling me some tribes would push me just to see me fall, and encouraging me to push back. I faced the heckler straight on, he was still partly hidden in shadow but I saw him shift where he sat. I opened my mouth and when he hooted I made the sound right back, in unison. He stood and shouted the warning noise again. So did I. The men behind him joined his cacophony but my voice was a higher pitch and could still be heard as I shouted over them, stepping away from T'Challa and walking up to my antagonizer. I stopped a few feet from him, holding my arms open in what i can only think of as a “come at me” pose. Part of me wished he would, I would rather be hitting something because I felt ridiculous. We had a silent staring contest for what seemed like an eternity before he started laughing. </p><p> </p><p>    [She must have a devil in her eyes that blinds her to fear.]</p><p>   “Unesidemon emehlweni akhe, akanakoyika.” A few tribe leaders laughed as he turned back to me. “Go, speak.” He waved me off. I turned my back on him to walk away, I took a deep breath as I reached the center again, turning to apologize to the King and Queen for the disruption. I saw Shuri and Elena’s faces, Shuri looked like she was trying not to die laughing and Elena looked like she was deciding if she was proud or furious. I was sure she would land on proud once her brain realized M’Baka hadn’t killed me. </p><p> </p><p>   “Manene namanenekazi...I know that we are outsiders, myself more than my friend, but even an outsider knows the importance of tradition.” Most of the discussions had been beyond anything I had an opinion on but T'Chaka and  T’Challa had been going back and forth for days about the things the prince wanted to implement when he became king and while I didn’t disagree that accepting help from the outside could be a good thing it didn’t meant everything had to change. I saw the Jabari leader leaning forward in his seat as I spoke. “I am not saying that things should not change, change is necessary. The woman who raised me once told me that if you aren’t changing, growing, evolving then you may as well be dead, because your relevance is the same either way. However, this same woman believed in the tradition of sitting down to tea, every day. She said it reminded her where she came from, it gave her a moment to connect to the things that made her. These things seem contradictory but they are both true. How can you grow if you cannot connect to the foundation you are trying to build on? ...I know, being from the outside, that there are things I do not understand, and I won't pretend too. But I will tell you all the same thing that I told the King and his family in private...If you choose not to grow, you will always be the same. But if you grow and lose your traditions, you will only succeed in becoming the same as everyone else.”</p><p> </p><p>   I walked back to my seat and the room sat silent before King T’Chaka stood. </p><p> </p><p>   “I would like to invite everyone to bring their food out into the night so that we may feast as one tribe and see our american friends off. Tomorrow, they go into the savannah to continue the aid they actually came to do, and escape this old man’s blathering.” There were a few laughs in the crowd before he raised a hand in the air and the Dora Milaje slammed their spear butts onto the ground with a thunderous shot of ‘Wakanda forever’ to echo their king. People scattered and Shuri ran up to me, punching my arm. </p><p> </p><p>   “That was awesome! I thought M’Baka was going to crush you.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Me too.” I admitted as Okoye put a hand on my shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>   “He could not crush her, she has been training with us.” I blushed, I was pretty sure I hadn’t learned enough to take on the head of the Jabari tribe. He had me in muscle alone. </p><p> </p><p>   “I guess we cannot call you intombazana emhlophe anymore.” Ayo said from behind Shuri. </p><p> </p><p>   “What, are you changing it to ‘Stupid girl’?” I laughed.</p><p> </p><p>   “No, M’Baka said you have a devil in your eyes.”</p><p> </p><p>   “He what?” I balked, I hadn't understood what he had said. </p><p> </p><p>   “He said that is why you were not afraid of him, I think he only saw you looking back at him mtyholi. I have seen your eyes when you fight.” Ayo explained and I saw the leader of the Jabari tribe walking toward us. I nodded in his direction and Okoye smiled at him. </p><p> </p><p>   “M’Baka! What do you think of our little mtyholi” she shouted to him, his shoulders shaking with laughter as he approached us. </p><p> </p><p>   “I think your mtyholi can be a guest with the Jabari anytime she decides that the rest of you are beneath her.” He grinned. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Cannonball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> <b> [Elena - 12:01 Sep 8th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p>
  <em>    It had been three weeks since he’d followed my trail into the bushes, and I was still doing most of the talking. With the exception of our ‘Elena are you a supernatural creature’ conversation he didn’t like to talk, He did like to listen. At first I wasn't sure if I was just talking to myself when i would tell him about my time in new mexico or other sanctuaries but a few nights in he started asking questions about what I was telling him, showing interest. I hadn’t pressed the subject of getting information from him, I knew better than to corner a wounded or scared animal and that’s how i thought of him in those early days.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I’d been leaving him at camp while I worked, I would come back to find small errands had been done. Water and firewood gathered, tall grass cleared if it was coming too close to the camper. I hadn’t wanted him to overwork himself but, between his wound healing quickly and his recent adventures in following me anyway, I invited him along </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    He turned out to be good enough company, his tracking skills were at least as good as mine and he always managed to stay far enough away as to not spook the animal we were tracking. A few times he would stand watch as I helped injured and trapped animals, making sure no larger predators snuck up on us, attracted by the sounds of the wounded prey.  I had to admit, it was a nice change, having someone to watch my back, it was a feeling I wasn't used to. Occasionally I would catch him looking off in the distance, not paying me any attention and I would sneak photos of him. Among the hundreds of others I’d taken I was most proud of those because he was harder to capture than the animals were proving to me. Although, i supposed they were more used to people taking their pictures.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  That night while we ate dinner i realized that i’d run out of stories, not all of them but the ones i was willing to tell. We ate in silence and I nearly choked when he started talking first.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I was a soldier...a long time ago and not so long ago.” His face made it seem like he was trying to make sense of it as he spoke and I didn't interrupt him. “I lost my arm the first time...when i woke up it was this.” He held up the metal arm. “And I was a soldier for someone new. I think...I think they may have been bad...but I didn't think they were so I don't know...I do know that they wanted me to kill people.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “That’s what soldiers do.” A long time had passed and I felt like I had to say something, the words sounded hollow but it was enough to keep him going.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “But I didn't want to, not even the first time...They sent me to kill someone and I realized that I didn't have to, so I didn't. I ran, but they will find me. They always do.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I remembered the assassination attempt on the king, the news reports that couldn't explain why the attempt had failed when no one had known it was coming. It made sense now, the assassin had missed on purpose.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You shouldn’t have to do something if you don’t want to.” I confirmed, barely noticing I'd said it out loud.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t...want to. I’m tired of killing for other people.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Then don’t” I shrugged, unsure what else to say.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “If only the world worked that way, doll.” a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth but didn’t reach his eyes, which remained confused.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Doll?” I raised an eyebrow. He shook his head.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t...I don't know where that came from.” he laughed. Actually laughed! I almost fell out of my chair.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well if it keeps you smiling like that, you call me whatever you like.” I hadn’t meant to say it, I'd thought it and for a second I wasn't sure I had said it until i realized he had looked up at me. He wasn’t laughing anymore but a smirk still played with the corners of his mouth. I felt my face get hot and hoped the darkness and firelight hid my blush as I cursed my body’s response. Why was I blushing like a schoolgirl, just because he smiled at me? Hell, if any of the guys in school had called me doll i would have broken their noses and yet here I was blushing in the dark. Thunder rumbled in the distance and i mentally thanked the gods for the distraction.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “That’s rolling in pretty quickly.” He was looking past me to the horizon, I followed his gaze. He wasn’t wrong. It was too dark to see much but when the next crack of lightning light the sky the wall of clouds hovering above seemed nothing less than ominous. “Will the camper be alright? Do we need to move it to higher ground? Move anything inside?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “The wind might pick up the shower...we should move the table and chairs in too in case it gets bad but we should be safe from flooding where we are as long as...shit.” I smacked myself.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What? Do we need to move? I can help, just tell me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No, no. The truck is fine, I'm just an idiot.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Why?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I thought of something else I need to bring inside for the storm.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>  [Yasha - 22:49 Sep 8th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I found myself sitting on the floor of the camper. I could tell she was shivering, despite the warmth in the small space. We had barely gotten everything inside before the downpour caught us but we still hadn’t managed to stay dry. Now the rain pounded the aluminum sides of the camper and the wind rocked us gently back and forth on the shocks of the truck that served as the camper’s base.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I looked around, I hadn't been inside before and it was small but looked much smaller from the outside. To my left and right there was a countertop, cabinets and mini appliances that served as a galley kitchen, beyond that was a small table that folded against the wall and a single chair, it looked like there was a second chair currently folded to the wall for more space but I couldn't be sure. A computer sat open on the table, a map of the area with blobs of color, showing the rain, lit the screen. Beyond that was a space that was the full width of the trailer and about 6 feet deep but only about three feet high, enough room for her to sit up in bed comfortably.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    When I looked in that direction she tossed me a pillow, I caught it and watched her crawl into bed nook. I didn’t wait for her to say anything, I laid the pillow on the floor and followed it down. I usually had trouble sleeping, especially in new environments, unless i was exhausted. This was different somehow. It was warm and smelled nice, the rain pattered the roof and the floor swayed. It didn’t take long for me to start to drift off.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You could probably fit up here...the floor can’t be very comfortable.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m alright, really. This is fine.” I answered groggily in the dark, if I craned my head I could make out her outline in the shadows of the bed.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Are you sure?”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “If I change my mind, you’ll be the first to know.” I mumbled, already half asleep. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 00:32 Sep 9th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>   Somewhere between second guessing my life choices of inviting a strange man to stay in my camper, and realizing I was hyper aware of his presence here, I fell asleep.  I wasn't sure when or how long I'd been sleeping but when the whimpering woke me the rain had stopped. I laid still, listening. I heard the man sleeping on my floor rolling in his blanket, knees bumping the cabinets on either side of him as he shifted. The soft panicked sound traded off with low growls of frustration as his breathing quickened.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yasha” I whispered from my bed, not wanting to be within arms reach when he woke. I’d been around people with night terrors and when they were startled away they usually came up swinging. I tried again, lounder. “Yasha!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Nothing. He growled at whatever was haunting him and swung the upper half of his body into the cabinets. I cringed at the sound of his head hitting wood and realised if i didn’t wake him he might hurt himself in these close quarters. Well shit.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I grabbed more pillows from the bed, pushing them onto the floor as I pulled my large blanket behind me. I tossed the pillows one at a time, landing two of the larger on either side of the thrashing sleeper before laying mine down about a foot above where he laid his head. I lowered myself slowly down, finding an awkward angle on the remaining floor space where I could lay down without being too cramped. I couldn’t stretch out by any means but I did at least manage what could reasonably be considered a ‘lying’ position. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    The whimpers and grunts had morphed into a low pleading chant of ‘no. no. no. no’ and I held my breath as I reached out to calm him. My hand hovered inches above his shoulder as I willed it to stop shaking and I made silent promises to myself that if he woke up violently I could scramble away fast enough. As my fingers made contact I felt his whole body tense, but he didn’t wake up. Instead he laid perfectly still and for a moment I wondered if he was pretending to sleep like he had that first morning.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yasha?” I whispered, if he was awake I wanted him to know I was close by. He didn’t answer, not really, but a low hum acknowledged that I'd spoken. His head turned towards where my hand rested on his shoulder and stayed there as he exhaled and resumed the deep breathing that comes with dreamless sleep. I was afraid to pull my hand away, afraid if I did that whatever was plaguing his dreams would come back. It was a silly thing to think, but I didn't want to risk it. Instead i closed my eyes and resigned myself to sleeping on the floor with my stray.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Yasha - 10:26 Sep 9th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    I woke up rested and confused, but not panicked. It was something that I hadn't done in...I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt...safe. Was that the right word?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Good morning sunshine.” I turned my head up toward the voice, Elena was sitting at the small folding table reading a book. “I was going to start breakfast, but someone’s sleeping in my kitchen.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I sat up, looking at the pillow nest surrounding me and back to her. The question must have shown on my face because she explained.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “The cabinets had you outnumbered, you were trying to defend yourself.” She motioned to a pillowed on my left and I pulled it away from the cabinets, revealing a small indention.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Sorry.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You’re lucky you have a hard head...and I'm lucky you didn’t hit it with a left hook or i’d have a hole to patch.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I--” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Don’t be sorry, just come sit up here so i can make breakfast. I thought you’d never wake up.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I sat on the other side of the world’s smallest table and watched her cook on an equally small stove top. She beat the eggs before pouring into the hot skillet, rinsing the bowl and putting it back in the cabinet before turning back to flip. Everything in the kitchen was in arms reach and she made the multitasking seem fluid. She pulled toast out of the oven and brought the whole pot of coffee to sit between us on the table. Between it, two plates and two mugs there wasn’t much space left on the table’s surface and I wondered if the camper was actually intended for more than one person, despite the second chair.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Maybe very small people.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “How did you sleep?” She asked, stirring sugar into her cup.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Good...really good.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Good.” She smiled. “You know...I've been thinking. It would be cruel and unusual to put you back out on the ground now. If you're ok with the floor, and pillow barriers to protect the furniture, you can stay.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No, I can't. It’s your space. I can stay outside.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Well it’s not my space...not really. I’m just borrowing it from the Park services. No one said I couldn't sublet the floor.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “It’s ok. Really. I shouldn’t.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “If you insist.” She sighed pointedly. “I’ll just lay awake in here, concerned for your well being and wondering if your out there being eaten by lions.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You’re very funny.” I said it flatly, trying not to let her see that I caught her sarcasm. Considering the face she tried to hide behind her coffee mug I didn't think it was working.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You’re right. I’m more concerned about what eating you might do to the lions.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I laughed, I couldn't help it. It felt strange and new...and good. She was laughing too and it lit up her face, that was good too and i decided to make it my new mission to make her smile like that more.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 12:00 Sep 9th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    Despite a late start to the day we spent the afternoon walking the perimeter of the area i was unofficially assigned too, looking for signs that anyone had trespassed or poached, making sure no animals were injured or trapped. It was nice out, after the rain it had cooled off a little and the freshly pooled water had many of the animals out and about. We spent a long time with the elephants, it wasn’t intentional but two of the calves has seen the reflection of Yasha’s arm and come to investigate. Before I knew it he was being pulled by little trunks toward the water. I followed, his pleading looks over his shoulder were too much for me to say no too and I tried to only laugh when he wasn’t looking. It would be rude to laugh at someone being kidnapped by adorable baby elephants, right? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    By the time we reached the edge of the water the calves were taking turns frolicking in the mud and prodding Yasha with curious pokes and strokes. He stood as still as he could manage, not wanting to startle them or hurt them. When i walked up beside him the younger of the two chuffed at my face softly, getting to know me. I ran my hands up her trunk making cooing sounds and she squealed in delight before bouncing back a step. The other had somehow snuck up on Yasha while he was watching me and my interaction and when it grabbed his leg from under him he fell into the mud with an unceremonious ‘plop’. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I started laughing and couldn’t stop, now that he was down both calves were reaching out with their trunks, trying to figure out what had happened and why he was on the ground. The calves slid onto their bellies in the mud, following his example as they wallowed. He looked over to me as one of our new friends smeared fresh mud across his cheek in a nearly perfect stamp of her snout. I was crying, my lungs burned and my face hurt but seeing such a serious figure taken down by two baby elephants...I couldn't help it. He grinned up at me, his shoulders shaking as the giggles spread. Before i could appreciate the moment his hand shot out and grabbed my ankle, pulling my leg out from under me and into the mud beside him. I sat up, feigning annoyance as I gathered a clod of wet earth in my hand.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “So that’s how we’re going to play this?” I asked. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Looks like it.” he nodded and I slammed a hand full of mud onto his head, giggling. He grinned and I tried to scramble back away from him before he could retaliate. I was too slow. He grabbed my ankle so I couldn't get away and pulled me closer, rubbing a warm hand covered in muck across my cheeks and drawing thick horizontal war paint lines on my face. I slid my free leg behind his for leverage and put my hands on his shoulders, flipping him onto his back and leaving a handprint across his forehead. The calves continued to play around us, flicking chunks of mud into the air before they rained down on us. Yasha fought to gain control of the situation but kept sliding, the metal arm unable to find a good purchase. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    Once or twice he almost had the leverage he needed but either myself or one of my adorable cohorts would swipe the arm or leg out from under him again. Eventually my arms were too tired to fight and he gained the upper hand, rolling me onto my back in the mud. I felt it squish into my clothes and hair as he hovered above me. He was so covered in mud that the only clean parts of his face were his eyes and teeth as he smiled his hair hung around his head in thick locks that dripped on me. At some point I'd stopped laughing, but I could still feel the ridiculous grin on my face as I looked up at him. I’d seen him smile a few times since we’d met but they had all somehow still been sad, this was different. His face, covered in a mask of grime as it was, had an expression that seemed more...himself. It suited him, his face wasn’t made to carry the constant furrow browed brooding that he typically wore.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    An elephant trumpeted, not one of the young ones we’d been playing with but the loud annoyed pitch of a mother just now seeing the trouble her kids had gotten into. Yasha moved to lay beside me so he could see the source of the sound. She moved across the shallow pond toward us, her head high and focused.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Should we go?” He said softly, sounding concerned.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No. She isn’t going to hurt us. And if she was it’s too late now, we can’t out run her.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “That’s not as reassuring as i think you meant it to be.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Before I could reply the mother elephant blasted me with a spray of water from her trunk, i heard Yasha laughing and waited. It wasn’t long before he got a blast of his own and looked at me dumbfounded. She treated the calves to the same treatment before tut-tutting them for leaving the safety of the herd and leading them back to the others.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Fin - 16:12 November 26th, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>   I was sad to end my training with Ayo and the Dora Milaje but I was glad I didn't need to sit through any more talking. Instead Elena and I headed into the Sibiloi National park for a ‘working vacation’. That’s what she was calling it anyway, I was calling it a super awesome adventure break. To each thier own. </p><p>   A sound caught my attention as Elena slowed the truck to a halt. I scanned the horizon. </p><p> </p><p>   “Elephants!” I said it louder than I'd meant to but I was excited. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah.” Elena was laughing at me, I didn't care. “It’s the same family that was here with me before.”</p><p> </p><p>   “You should see if they remember you.” I was grinning like a crazy person. Elephants had been on my top five list of things I wanted to see on this trip. “Oh! Is there an elephant graveyard? Can we go?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Fin...you DO know that this isn’t the lion king, right?” </p><p> </p><p>   “So your saying there ISN’T an elephant graveyard?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Oh no, there is. I just wanted to make sure you have realistic expectations about the chances of you meeting a talking lion with his warthog and meerkat friends.”</p><p> </p><p>   “You really missed your calling as a comedian.” I said flatly. She put the truck in park and we got out, walking closer to the elephants but not too close. A couple spotted us and wandered nearer, making soft rumbling noises as they chuffed in Elena’s direction. The smaller of the two, still a full grown elephant by all means, lifted Elena’s hair with it’s trunk before blowing out air in a loud bellow of happiness. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yes, it’s good to see you too!” Elena replied, running her hands along it’s trunk as she looked at me. “Go on, just move slow so you don’t startle them.” I reached a hand out slowly, the second elephant meeting me halfway and curling the tips of its trunk around my hand, I rubbed the space between his eyes with my free hand and it made squealing chuffing sounds. </p><p> </p><p>   “This is awesome.” I whispered to Elena. We spend a good deal of time with our pachyderm pals but eventually the rest of the herd got tired of waiting on them and started to move. They left us to catch up. </p><p> </p><p>   “We still have a few miles before we reach the campsite. We should keep going.” Elena spoke softly, distracted watching the elephants walk away. When i looked at her it didn’t seem like she was really looking at the elephants so much as in their direction and I wondered if it was strange for her, being back here again. </p><p> </p><p>   “Alright, I'm following you.” I put my arm around her shoulders, walking back to the truck. I wasn’t sure how comfortable the two of us sharing the tiny pop camper would be but we’d had worse. I caught her running a hand over a hole in the side as I climbed back into the passenger seat and I realized that we might be in the same camper that she stayed in before. Not one like it, but the exact same one. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 01:38 Sep 30th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>POP POP POP </em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I sat bolt upright in the bed, thankful I was short enough to do so without knocking myself out. Yasha was standing at the door, looking out the window from half cover in the corner. He must have seen that I was awake because he spoke. After more than a month with no sign of trespassers or poaching I'd let my guard down. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Guns...they are close.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I didn’t wait to hear more, I pulled on the boots in front of the bed and grabbed the tranq gun, pushing past him and out the door. He tried to follow and i stopped him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Stay inside.” I hadn’t meant to make it an order but it had come out that way.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You stay inside!” he rebutteled as we walked. I halted and turned back to him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You are supposed to be hiding from people, not going toward them.” I reminded him. He rolled his eyes.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You are supposed to avoid people shooting guns, or did you forget to get in the self preservation skill line when they were handing out brains?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “GET. BACK. IN. THE. CAMPER. This is my job” I hissed through gritted teeth before walking away. I didn’t hear his heavy footfalls behind me and knew he’d turned back but I didn't for a second believe he was actually going back to hide in the camper. It didn’t take long to come across three idiots walking in the open, one had a large spotlight trained on the watering hole and the other two had rifles. I didn’t see any animals immediately and assumed the shots were to spook a larger predator or just for shits and giggles.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I crouched down, keeping my eyes on the men as i felt for a decent size rock, picking one up in my hand when I found it. I stood quickly, not hesitating as I threw it into the large face of the handheld spotlight. I ducked into the grass again as i heard a crash that was accompanied by darkness. Perfect.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <em>     [Put your weapons down. you are surrounded.]  </em></p><p>
  <em>    “Faka izixhobo zakho phantsi. u ji kelelwe” i shouted from my hiding place.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    The man holding the broken light dropped it and put his hands on his head. His friends with guns scanned their surroundings trying to find me. I crept to the side where none of them would be able to easily get behind me </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <em>   [I said put down your guns] </em></p><p>
  <em>    “Ndathi ukubeka phantsi izibhamu zakho.” I repeated, the man with his hands on his head mumbled something to the guy closest to him and he knelt to place his gun on the ground. Once he stood, unarmed, I revealed my position and pointed the tranq at the man still not following directions.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>     [ </em> <em> Are you hard of hearing? Or just stupid?] </em></p><p>
  <em>    “Ngaba kunzima ukuva? okanye uyisidenge nje?” I shouldn't have provoked the man with the gun that was already breaking laws but...hell maybe i didn’t get the self preservation part of my brain. I realized that wasn’t exactly true when he leveled the gun at me and that part of my brain started freaking out.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <em>   [You don’t want to do that. Put it down.] </em></p><p>
  <em>    “Awufuni ukwenza oko. ukulahla isikhali.” he put his finger on the trigger and I followed suit. I didn’t want to kill this man but i would if it was him or me. Everything after that happened so fast that I didn't understand it until later when I replayed it in my mind.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Before the man could squeeze his trigger Yasha burst from the brush beside him, pushing the man’s rifle barrel into the air as it went off. The man who had put down his gun knelt and picked it up again, leveling it at Yasha. I didn’t hesitate, I turned and shot him. He fell to the ground at the same time i heard a snap and turned to see Yasha holding a limp body my neck in his metal hand. An acrid aroma burned my nose and I realized the third man had pissed himself.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> <em> [ </em> <em> Do not move] </em></p><p><em>    “Awuhambanga.” I pointed a finger at him and he nodded, i took the sat phone off my belt and called in the incident. Once I knew men were on the way to pick up the bodies and the sole survivor i sent Yasha back to the trailer. </em> </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b> [Yasha - 02:56 Sep 30th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p><span class="u"> <em> Cannonball - The Sweeplings </em> </span> </p><p>
  <em>    I sat at the small table looking at my hand. I hadn’t wanted to kill the man, just stop him from hurting her...but i supposed killing was the only thing I was good at. At least as far as this was concerned.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I slammed the hand on the table and felt nothing. I started to pace, wondering what was taking Elena so long. Wondering if the last man had given her any trouble. I doubted it. I wanted her back here so I could be sure that she was alright. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The gun had gone off, the man had been pointing it at her and it had gone off. If I had been a fraction of a second too late...I felt nauseous.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    Finally a noise caught my attention, the door to the camper. Elena walked in, her face distracted. I stood, walking quickly to her and folding her into my arms. She embraced me back and we stood like that for a minute until she let out a long exhale, relaxing. I leaned back, running my hands over her face and shoulders.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Are you ok? Did you get hit?” I was looking for any blood or injury and she just kept looking at my face.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I’m fine, i didn’t get hit.” She smiled, her eyes still searching my face for something. I knew that look, I'd seen it before but i didn’t know what she was trying to--She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to mine and I remembered what her facial expression was trying to communicate. My heart jumped, startling me and when we broke apart I couldn't contain my thought of “OH.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Oh.” She pulled away, interpreting my outburst as something I hadn't intended. “I’m sorry, i don’t know why i--” I didn’t let her finish talking, I closed the gap between us and kissed her again. I needed to know that the feeling when she’d kissed me hadn’t been imagined.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    My right hand held the back of her head, her silky hair slid through my fingers as I held her close to me, her arms wrapped around my neck as she leaned into me. My heart raced in my chest and I thought that this is what life was meant to be. Moments like this, here with her. Not the hollow existence that I'd run from, no. This. Being with someone I cared enough to defend her because i chose too, not because someone commanded it. Being with her to talk to, to listen to, to see her smile and to hear her laugh, to hold her, kiss her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I didn’t want the moment to end, i wanted to stay in it until i died because as long as it was happening i couldn’t forget how it felt. I moved forward, already pressed to her but feeling like I needed to be closer. She moved too, pushing me back and away from the kitchen. I stumbled, my heels hit the fold out dining room set and i fell into the seat, pulling her with me. I felt her laughing against my lips. She stayed on my lap, my arms wrapping around her waist, not wanting to let her go. The kisses slowed, less frantic and need driven, more gently. Something tickled the back of my mind and i tried to brush it away, I didn't want to think about whatever it was, not now.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yasha…” She started, but the word seemed wrong to my ears. I knew why she’d said it, why she was calling me that but it wasn’t right. The tickle persisted, it was agreeing that i was not Yasha, not quite. Not anymore.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No.” I whispered, elena pulled her face from mine but stayed on my lap. She didn’t ask for clarification, I could tell that she was reading my expression and something in it told her to let me think. I was sure she’d seen the look enough in the time she’d known me, the look that meant some part of my memory was coming free. The tickle turned into an itch and the more i poked at it the harder it seemed to grasp. Elena reached a hand up, pushing a stray hair from my brow and an image flashed in my mind of another woman making the same gesture, an older woman. She was smiling down at me and brushing hair out of my eyes as she said my name. “James.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What?” Elena asked and I realized I must have said it too quietly.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “The Russians called me Yasha, but that’s not my name. My mother called me James.”  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Save Tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b> [Fin - 17:00 December 1st, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>   I was having trouble sleeping, I tried listening to music and it helped for a while but I was starting to feel trapped in this RV. I wanted to run, I had too much energy that needed an outlet but I knew running out here was literally the fastest way to get chased. As much as I wanted to run, the idea of a lioness taking me down seemed less appealing. </p><p>   My brain flashed a memory of the last submarine ride home before this trip, to my small bunk where I was tossing and turning trying to sleep. To Captain Rogers talking to me until I finally could. Part of me wished he had come with us. </p><p>   No! Bad brain. I shook my head. What the hell are you doing? Do you have dengue fever? You do not need Captain America to lull you to sleep at night, definitely not. The part of my mind that had suggested it in the first place started replaying the story he’d told me, his voice calm and sincere. DAMN IT BRAIN! Why must you betray me!?</p><p>   It was useless, I gave up on sleep and lay awake in the camper listening to Elena sleeping. While I sat in the dark I heard something outside, at first it was just a rustle and I hoped it was poachers. Not that I wanted poachers but I really needed to do something. Soon the sound got closer and I recognized the soft chuffing and cackles of hyenas. </p><p> </p><p>I shook elena awake in my excitement. </p><p> </p><p>   “What? I’m up, I’m up! Stop shaking me! What the fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Sorry! Listen.” I sat still, covering my mouth with my hands. A low laugh echoed outside.</p><p> </p><p>   “Hyenas.” Elena laid back down.</p><p> </p><p>   “Hyenas!” I opened the windows that flanked the bed, knowing they might spook if we actually went out. They were moving through the grass on the left of the camper and I watched them nip at each other. “They are so cute.” I’d never squealed before but I thought that had been close. Elena rolled her eyes. </p><p>   “Oh, come on E. Look at those cute little underbite faces and that beautiful evil laugh ...besides I watched this documentary once where they were trying to eat a dead elephant but they couldn't get through the hide, right? So one hyena shoved it's WHOLE head in the elephant's butt to get to soft tissue.” I babbled, the excess energy in my coming out as hyper word vomit.</p><p> </p><p>   “....and that's...cute?” Elena looked at me, stunned.</p><p> </p><p>   “Ok, so ‘cute’ may be the wrong word, but come one Elena. It's head! Inside elephant butt! That's tenacity.” I said, sounding impressed.</p><p> </p><p>   “That's kinda gross.” she countered. She wasn’t wrong.</p><p>   </p><p>   “That wasn't as bad as the crocs ripping the junk off a bloated hippo corpse.” I stated calmly.</p><p> </p><p>   “Fin, what the hell kind of nature documentaries are you watching!?”</p><p> </p><p>   “It was a series...i don't know..something on animal planet.” I shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>   “Animal planet has clearly changed since I was a kid.” Elena mumbled. “Just think Fin, you could have stayed with M’Baka and gotten to see all that gross stuff in real life as the Jabari queen.” She teased, the last night had mostly been me talking to the outcast tribe after they discovered that I agreed with them on keeping traditions alive. Elena thought for a minute I wasn't going to come with her when I was offered the opportunity to see their mountains instead. I had been tempted but it was only an invitation for me. </p><p> </p><p>   “Don’t be silly. If I wanted to live in the mountains with large men who communicate in grunts and testosterone I would just join the strike team full time.” She laughed at me as she rolled over to go back to sleep. I laid down, watching the hyenas play fight outside the camper until I finally fell asleep. </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b> [Elena - 09:00 Nov 30th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>    It was only two months ago that I'd convinced him that the bed was large enough for us both, I couldn't stand seeing him sleeping on the floor and never had the heart to tell him I'd been crawling down there with him to keep the nightmares at bay. Now i just laid here, watching him sleep. I smiled to myself, a sudden urge flashing in my brain. I moved slowly, not wanting to wake him, and pulled the polaroid to me. I took the batteries out of the flash and held my breath as I clicked the button. The camera whirred and spat out the image, I watched his face waiting for him to stir but he only twitched his nose and continued to sleep.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I looked down at the picture in my hand. It wasn’t the most flattering but had to admit, he cleaned up nice. I would have never guessed that was the case when he walked up to my camper the first time. Now I couldn't remember what it had been like before. I had been on my own for a few months before he showed up and I remembered enjoying the time I had to myself but it was better with him here.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I still didn’t know as much as I would have liked about his past, but I think he and I were on the same page there. I fully believed that he had told me everything he knew about himself and I couldn't imagine how hard it must be not to know the answers to the simplest questions. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What are you doing?” HIs voice was low and rough, I could tell he was talking in his sleep and not to me directly. At some point the nightmares had stopped, they were replaced by this. I didn’t wake him, I just listened and waited. He smiled, apparently whoever he was talking to in his dream was someone he liked. Good. “Come on punk.” He mumbled. I scooted out of the bed, maneuvering past the table to start breakfast and start the debate I'd been having with myself for the last few days.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    When we had taken out the poachers and I'd sent him back to camp, I hadn't wanted whoever came out to collect the men to see him. I’d put enough together to know he was the one who’d taken a shot at T’Chaka. When Pumi arrived he took the bodies as well as the last man before telling me what was happening in the villages. Isolated out in the park i wasn’t aware of the manhunt happening in the city, the men in suits that had mysteriously appeared from other countries to ‘help’ find the would be assassin. I knew if i told James he would run, i didn’t know where he would go but i knew he would and i hadn’t wanted him to. I told myself it was because i knew he was safer here than trying to stay ahead of whoever was looking for him but that was only partly true. Honestly i just hadn’t wanted him to leave. I couldn’t decide if i didn’t want him to leave because i didn’t want to be without him or if I didn’t want him to leave because i knew, if he asked, i would go with him. I wasn’t sure which idea terrified me more, that i had grown to need him so badly that i couldn’t imagine him gone or that i would give up everything i’d worked for to avoid that outcome.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What are you doing?” He was talking to me this time and I realized I'd been standing in the small kitchen, holding a pan to start breakfast but was so lost in thought that I'd been standing there doing nothing. I wondered how long I'd been frozen in thought and how long he had been watching me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I got up to cook...I got distracted.” I answered softly, putting the pan on the stove and opening a drawer to get a spatula. He got out of bed more gracefully that I'd managed, his hair sticking up on one side where he’d slept on it. It didn’t quite balance out the intimidation that the metal arm provided but it did soften his edges a little...of course that could just be my opinion.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    He moved behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and squeezing as he dipped his face to my shoulder, leaving a soft trail of kisses. “Do you want me to forget what I was doing again? Because you’re doing a good job of it.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    He chuckled against my skin before leaning over and opening the mini fridge door for me. I took out the eggs and started cracking them into the pan. He opened the drawer that hid the trash compressor and I tossed in the shells as he put his right hand back on my hip. This was becoming our new routine and I couldn't complain. He moved his left hand up my spine and I felt the goosebumps in its wake. It was strange, the metal arm. It was cooler than the rest of his body but not really cold like you would expect metal to be. Through the fabric of my tee shirt it was hard to tell that it was metal at all. He stopped the gentle stroke and poked at my ribs, tickling me. I let out a gasp as I threw my body weight back into him, slamming him into the cabinets behind him harder than I'd meant to. He started laughing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Sorry! I couldn’t resist!”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “One of these days.” I shook the spatula at him. “Get the plates.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    He did and I scooped eggs and toast onto them, he took them and sat. I took the chair across from him, laying my legs over his where they were stretched out under the table. He smiled, taking a bite of his toast as I checked the weather and made sure nothing crazy was coming our way.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Shit.” I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What?” He asked, leaning forward to see what I was cursing at. I turned the computer so he could see the screen. Several news articles had popped up in the area, mostly about the manhunt for the metal armed assassin, but others were about death tolls in neighboring villages. They were blaming the deaths on the assassin but even if i hadn’t had him here with me i would know it wasn’t true. For starters some were happening on the same day as each other on opposite sides of the country. James clicked on one of the articles that had photos, it showed the bodies and even to an untrained eye it looked like they had been questioned in a less than legal way. Teeth and fingernails were missing, small cuts marred their faces and limbs were broken at the joints. “They are saying i did this.” It wasn’t a question.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “But you didn’t. You’ve been here with me.” I reassured him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Close it.” he went back to picking at his food and I shut the laptop. We finished our breakfast in silence and as much as I wanted to let him think without me prying, I wanted to know what he was thinking. I finished getting dressed while he cleaned up breakfast, he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to go out and I didn't push him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Go, do what you need to. I think I'm going to stay here today…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “OK...I’ll be back for dinner.” I promised. He nodded and I left.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [James - 11:31 Nov 30th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>  <em>   I’d been sitting at the table since Elena had left the camper, by mind running in circles. I needed to leave, to hide. It wasn’t safe here anymore. But it was safe here, in the camper, Elena was here and she was safe. But if I was here she wasn’t safe, if they found me here with her they would do worse to her than they had to the people in the villages. I had to leave.  </em></p><p>
  <em>    But I didn't want to leave, i wanted to stay with her. But I didn't want to put her in danger. But i wanted her with me. I could take her with me. I could be with her and leave this place. But that would not keep her safe, that would keep her in danger and on the run. I couldn’t ask her to leave her life to cower in the shadows like an animal just for the sake of being with me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wanted to stay with her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I need to run. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wanted to protect her.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I needed her to be safe. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> My options were limited. I knew what I had to do. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I looked around the camper, there wasn’t much evidence of me here. I opened the computer and found the files where I knew she saved photos of the animals. I’d caught her pointing the camera at me a few times and I needed to make sure no one could prove that she’d seen me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When I opened it, I found that I had a whole folder to myself, my name listed among the other animals. “Giraffe, Hyena, Ibex, James, Lion” I clicked on my name. At first I didn't recognize the man in the photos, i didn’t typically have a reason to look at myself, but my arm confirmed my identity better than any facial recognition.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I deleted the photos but left the file, hoping that she wouldn’t notice anything amiss until it was too late. I felt guilty doing it, but I had to be sure I couldn’t be used against her. Once I'd erased myself from the computer I checked the camera, there were no new pictures of me there. I made sure there was no trace I'd been in the camper or the camp site and started walking.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>                 <b>   [Elena - 18:02 Nov 30th, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars</span>  </em>
</p><p> <em> I was more anxious to get back to camp than usual, I'd spent the whole day kicking myself for leaving him behind and the idea that he wouldn’t be there when I returned had been gnawing at me all day. I’d resisted the urge to go back and check, the pride I was meant to be checking in on was too far from camp to make the trip twice. Instead I spent the day half in the moment and half in the thoughts of what was waiting for me when I got back to camp. At that point i’d made up my mind, if he planned to leave i would go with him. The thought of him leaving and me never knowing what could have been was worse than any scenario i could imagine where i went with him because in the end, i was with him. On that same train of thought i realized that i wanted to be with him in every aspect of the phrase, which was new for me. I’d had boyfriends here and there but none seemed serious and so none developed into more than a hand holding and kissing relationship. I’d been ok with that before. I’d met girls who talked about wanting to be with boys they liked and I could understand that conceptually but I'd never had the same desire.  I couldn’t say the same for James. Every time he touched me i wanted him closer, every time he kissed me i didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him, every part of him and a wave of heat ran through me when I wondered what it would be like.  </em></p><p>
  <em>    I headed back earlier than I should have, unable to postpone the truth any longer. The closer I got to camp the more the knot in my stomach grew, whether it was from anxiety or anticipation I couldn't tell.  As I approached camp I heard something out of the ordinary and picked up my pace.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Maybe sometimes we got it wrong, But it's alright the more things seem to change the more they stay the same. Ooh’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    The windows of the truck were rolled down and Corinne Bailey Rae’s voice crooned from the radio. I slowed my pace, walking cautiously toward the camper. The door swung open and I jumped.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Shit! Hi, sorry. I didn’t know you were back yet.” I realized he hadn’t seen me because he had come out of the camper backwards, when he turned around he had a bouquet of wildflowers in his hands.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What are you--? I started.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>   “Oh.” He held out the flowers. “These are for you. I...wanted to do something for you but I’m not sure I'm doing it right…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What are you trying to do? Maybe I can help.” I looked at the flowers and over to the truck playing what I assumed was the only american music station that could be picked up in the park. I could smell food cooking inside the camper. “Although whatever it is i think you’re off to a good start.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “No, you aren’t allowed to help. It’s against the rules.” He said, pulling over a chair and motioning for me to sit. He ran inside and brought out a bottle of water.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Who made these rules? I may need to thank them…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “But the guys are supposed to do the planning and the dames look pretty and enjoy themselves.” I must have blushed because he grinned. I sipped my water and before long he brought out dinner, it was a little burned but still tasted divine. By the time we finished and he’d taken the dishes inside the sun had set and the music was the only thing i could hear beyond the crackling of the fire. He sat beside me, leaning his head back and listening to the music with me, I copied his gesture. Some of the songs were less relaxing than others but i didn’t hate it. I heard him move out of his chair but no footsteps led away, I opened my eyes and saw him standing in front of me, holding his right hand out.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Dance with me.” He smiled.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I thought courtesy was asking.” I smiled, teasing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t remember asking before.” His brows knit in confusion and I laughed, knowing he was probably being sincere.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t dance.” I explained.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Come on.” He looked surprised. “Everybody dances” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t, I'm no good at it. Never was.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He took my hands in his, pulling me to my feet.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You just didn’t have the right partner.” He walked me out toward the fire and put his hands on my hips at arm's length. “Close your eyes.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don’t--” I don’t know what my argument was going to be and was almost relieved that he cut me off.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Do you trust me?” I looked at his face and answered immediately.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes.” I exhaled and closed my eyes. A new song started on the radio and he moved my hips to the music.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Relax.” he laughed. “If you fight me I can’t help.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I feel stupid.” I huffed.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Don’t. Don’t feel anything but the music. Turn everything else off.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I can’t turn off you standing there watching me wiggle around like an idiot.” I argued. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>   “Fine.” He took his hands off my hips. “I’ll stand over here and close my eyes. You can stand there being all serious while I dance by myself, or you can dance with me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I peaked, making sure his eyes were actually closed. They were. I took a deep breath and focused on the beat of the song playing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Well my heart knows me better than I know myself, so i’m gonna let it do all the talking’  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I moved my hips to the beat, trying to drop my insecurities.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘I came across a place in the middle of nowhere, With a big black horse and a cherry tree. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I felt a little fear upon my back I said don't look back, just keep on walking. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  I understood what James had meant when he said to just feel the music.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Woohoo woohoo’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I felt the warmth of him as he stepped up behind me, his hand going back to my hips but this time they followed my movements instead of forcing them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well the big black horse said, Look this way’, He said, ‘Hey lil' lady, will you marry me?’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I leaned back, i couldn’t hear the lyrics anymore and I couldn't tell if I was moving to the beat of the song or James’ heart. I could hear it and I leaned back against him as I moved, one of his hands moved to brush the hair off the back of my neck. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Told you, everybody can dance.” His voice was low and husky against my skin and I made an involuntary purr in response.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “You also said you’d keep your eyes closed.” I reminded him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I didn’t peak.” His hands slid to my ribs. “I found you with these.” He squeezed a little for emphasis before turning me to face him. I opened my eyes and saw his were still closed which made me smile. The song changed to something slower and he put my hands on his shoulders and he returned his to my hips as we swayed to the soft guitar intro. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>   ‘What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I can't keep up and I can't back down. I've been losing so much time.’ </em>
</p><p> <em> “You can open your eyes, if you want.” I whispered, he peeked at me with one eye and smiled before opening them both.  </em></p><p>
  <em>    ‘Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And it's you and me and all of the people. And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    “I like this song.” He leaned his forehead against mine, his hair fell to frame his face and tickled my cheeks.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right, I'm tripping on words. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You got my head spinning, I don't know where to go from here </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    “Mmm.” My nose brushed his. “Me too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Something about you I can't quite figure out, Everything she does is beautiful, Everything she does is right </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    He leaned in, closing the gap between us and the music disappeared completely leaving just me and him. I hadn’t realized that we had stopped swaying to the music and were just standing but the fire in each other's arms. I broke the kiss, not pulling out of his embrace.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Let’s go inside.” My voice sounded strange, not like me. He picked me up around the waist and started walking, I couldn’t help but laugh as he awkwardly carried me into the camper, setting me down once we were inside. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me, walking backwards as I moved to the bed. He must have collapsed the dining room table because instead of walking into it I felt the mattress behind me. I found the bottom hem of his shirt with my free hand and worked it over his head, only breaking the kiss long enough to pass the shirt through. I ran my hands down his chest, he tensed at my touch for only a second before lifting me onto the edge of the bed. His right hand slid under my shirt and trailed along my skin leaving a trail of heat in its wake. I took the shirt off before he had the chance, eager to feel more of his skin against mine. I leaned down, kissing his cheek and neck followed by his collarbone until I ran out of skin. I kissed where the flesh turned to metal.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Sorry doll” he leaned in, kissing my forehead. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “For what?” he held up his arm apologetically. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “For not being…” he paused, looking at his metal hand  “whole.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “At what point have I made you think I care?” I took his hand in mine and kissed it, a moment of realization struck me. “Can you feel that?” I squeezed his hand and he shook his head. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I can tell you're touching me, but it's not the same as...” He moved his right hand to my face and ran his thumb along my bottom lip before replacing it with his lips again. I reached back, unclasping my bra and letting it fall between us as I wrapped his metal limb around me. He pulled me close and I gasped at the sensation of my bare skin on his . My hands couldn't decide where to touch, his chest, his back, my fingers ran through his hair and across the stubble on his face before starting the process over again. His did much of the same, wandering from my face to my chest and sending waves of pleasure through me with every touch.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    I leaned back, guiding him onto the bed with me and cursing the low ceiling. The weight of him above me was divine, he leaned on his left arm so that his right could continue to explore as his mouth found my exposed breast. I sucked in a breath in response to his teasing and felt him laughing against me. I reached between us, fumbling at the waist of his pants, desperate to touch every part of him. His hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What's wrong?” I asked, confused. Usually I was the one stopping this sort of thing and I hadn't anticipated ever being on the receiving end. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Nothing.” He moved my hand to his face and kissed my palm, closing his eyes. “It's just...too fast.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Oh…we can stop.” I offered, I really didn't want to stop. He smiled sheepishly, looking down at me through the curtain of his hair. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I don't want to stop.” He admitted. “I just don't want to... But that's not to say there aren't other things to keep us occupied.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    He moved down my body, undoing my pants in deft movements before stepping back off the bed and pulling me to the edge by my calves. He leaned forward, his lips brushing the soft skin of my ribs before kissing a trail down my belly, his long hair leaving goosebumps in its wake. He pulled at my jeans while he moved and they were on the floor by the time his kisses reached my hip. He kept going, his lips making their way to my knee as he knelt off the edge of the bed, parting my legs and repeating the gesture in the opposite direction. He stopped and let his fingertips brush the inside of my thigh where his lips had been. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Do you want me to keep going?” he growled, his breath warm against me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “God yes.” I begged, he obliged. His mouth found me in one swift motion, his laughter at my enthusiasm still vibrating through him as his tongue explored. The fingers that had been achingly teasing before moved to my breast and groped as he rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I was making noises I had never heard before, a mixture of elation and pleading. His left hand joined his mouth, teasing my entrance as he moved to run his tongue over my sensitive nub, causing my back to arch toward him. He plunged his fingers into me as he sucked on the sensitive flesh and I rocked against him, pushing myself onto him until I was undone. My body simultaneously tensed and relaxing, muscles I hadn't known I could flex were spasming against him and I heard a raw cry of elation tear from my lips. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>   He moved back to the bed beside me, pulling me with him until my legs were back on the mattress and he held me to his chest as I caught my breath. He pushed a stray hair behind my ear and lifted my chin as he bent to kiss me. His mouth tasted different than before and I realized why with an odd sense of pride. My scent was on him, he tasted like me. He was mine. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I moved my hand to the button on his jeans and paused, not wanting him to pull me away again.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Do you trust me?” I asked, echoing the words he had used when he had asked me to dance. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Yes.” His voice was quiet and gruff, it refreshed my new found confidence as I undid his jeans. I pushed them down around his hips, stroking the length of him through his briefs before uncovering him. My hand moved along his length and I heard all rumble in his chest. I kissed his neck, his chest, his ribs as I lowered myself on the bed, taking him into my mouth inch by slow inch. I squeezed the base of his shaft, stroking with my hand in the same tempo as my mouth and my tongue wrapped around him. I heard him speaking and almost stopped before I realized that wasn't what he was saying. I still didn't understand Russian but his tone reassured me that ‘stop’ wasn't one of the words he was using.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “о ... маленький волк ... да ... Бог да …” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Once he’d finished I curled back into his arms, repeating my revelation in my mind as the wolf inside me calmed at the notion. He is mine, I am his. I closed my eyes, listening to him breathe and letting him hold me as I fell asleep. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>                        <b>   [James - 00:33 Dec 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b></p><p><span class="u"><em>Save Tonight - Zayde Wolf</em></span>  </p><p> <em>   I couldn’t sleep, satiated as i would the guilt wouldn’t let me enjoy my last moments with her. I held her as she slept, her breathing slow and steady. I laid my head on hers and tried to ingrain the smell of her in my mind. As much as it hurt me to leave her i knew it was the only way could keep her safe. I mentally checked off the list of things I needed to clear before I could go, most were taken care of but I would need to do a final sweep before I left.  </em></p><p>
  <em>    I tried to decide what i could say to keep her from following me I’d already decided that I would need to leave a note or she would assume i’d been taken. I couldn’t have her trying to track me down. I didn’t even know where to start, how could i even try to explain what was coming for me?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I laid in bed with her as long as I could but as the sun began to rise I knew she would be waking up soon. If she opened her eyes, if she looked at me...I didn't think I could leave if she asked me not to. I rolled her onto her back, tucking the blanket around her before moving off the bed and getting dressed as quietly as I could. I opened the laptop, typing out the last words to her that I had decided on before wiping down all the surfaces of the camper, making sure i hadn’t left any trace of myself behind. I looked back at her one more time, her face slack with sleep and my heart ached at the thought of leaving, but I knew in my gut that if I didn't I would be watching her die and the thought of that hurt more. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> [Elena - 06:31 Dec 1st, 2006 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p> <em> I knew something was wrong before I'd even opened my eyes, I couldn't feel him there. I had thought, when he was still here when I'd gotten back the night before, that it meant he was staying for good. Apparently he’d only stayed for a proper send off. I rolled my eyes, I was an idiot. I should have known something was up, should have seen it. I banged my head on the mattress. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  </em></p><p>
  <em>    I got dressed, jumping in the cab of the truck and planning to track him. With the windows down I could pick up his scent and catch up, he couldn’t be too far ahead. I turned the key in the ignition.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nothing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    Damn it! I slammed my fists on the steering wheel in frustration. The battery was dead, how? I laid my head on the wheel. The music, we’d had the radio on in the truck, neither of us had bothered to turn it off in our hurry to get each other’s clothes off. Son of a bitch. I got out of the truck, slamming the door behind me as I stomped in a random direction trying to pick up his trail. I made it a few dozen feet before the sneezing fit started. I blew air through my nostrils trying to clear whatever had tickled my sinuses. I stepped back, taking shallow sniffs at the air. Cayenne powder.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “What the hell?” I followed the smell and only managed to walk in a circle around my camp. The bastard had covered his trail with something stronger. I moved ten feet outside the pepper and tried again, walking the entire perimeter trying to figure out which direction he’d gone but the initial inhale still burned in my sinuses. Fuck. I kept walking, making wider and wider circles hoping to see some trace of him, pick up some scent, anything. I’d made it all the way to the elephants’ main watering hole before i picked up anything out of the ordinary.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>    The scent was male, older but not elderly. He smelled of detergent and sweat. I moved to keep downwind and saw he was alone, I made another circle to reassure myself before I approached.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Can I help you?” I asked impatiently, irrationally blaming this random man in a suit for James disappearing. I didn’t have proof he was one of the men looking for him but i didn’t have prove he wasn’t either.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “My name is Agent Coulson, you must be Elena?” He turned to me with a smile as he held out his hand to shake. I took it briefly before pulling back and crossing my arms in front of me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I am.” Although i wondered how he knew that, he sure didn’t look like Wakandan government. “What can I do for you Agent Coulson?”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “I have a proposal for you actually,” he pulled a manilla folder from his jacket and unfolded it, handing it to me. “You don’t have to decide now, I work for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division and my job is to find people with...skills that could be useful to our cause. I think you would be an ideal candidate.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “S.H.I.E.L.D. has a file on me? Why?” I hoped the alarm wasn’t clear as clear in my voice as I thought it was.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “We have a file on everyone, don’t take it personally.” he smiled, “As I said you don’t have to give me an answer now, you can review those files they should answer any questions you have better than I can and if not my card is in there, you can give me a call. We offer housing, training...if you wanted to continue your work with animals we have a great scholarship program and science division, although with your skill set I think you would be more qualified for field work than paperwork...Do you have any questions or…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No. I...i don’t think i am interested Agent Coulson but if I change my mind,” I held up the folder that he’d given me and that I'd planned to throw away as soon as I got back to camp “I have your number.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Of course.” He smiled again, holding out his hand to shake.”It was a pleasure to meet you.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I shook his hand and walked away without reciprocating the feeling. I was already having a bad day, I didn't have time for this.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    I stomped back into the camper, pacing in frustration and slamming my fist into the cabinets. I threw the S.H.I.E.L.D. folder into the trash and kicked it closed before leaning against the cool metal of the fridge. I made myself stand there, eyes closed, taking deep breaths. Running around in an unorganized panic was only going to result in me making mistakes and missing anything helpful i might be lucky enough to come across. I resigned myself to sitting down, i needed to eat but didn’t have the energy to cook so instead i grabbed a piece of bread and nibbled at the crust as i lowered myself into the small dining set. The laptop was open...that was odd. I didn’t think i’d left it open. Come to think of it, when i’d gone to sleep the table and chairs had been stowed...not out. Were they out when i’d woken up? I tried to remember but couldn’t, i’d been to distraught. I turned the laptop toward me, there wasn’t anything open on the desktop. For lack of any better ideas i opened the photos folder, scanning through until i found his name.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> James.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I clicked the file. I had been expecting a folder of around eighty photos, instead I found one document file. I opened it, holding my breath. The text document loaded and a blank white page looked back at me, only eight words were typed across the top.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Do not follow me. I am sorry volk.”</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 01:48 December 25th, 2013 - WAKANDA]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll Never Go Away - Erin McCarley</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>    I bolted upright in bed, cold sweat coating my skin, I heard the soft breathing in the bed beside me and relaxed. I’d been having the worst dream. I’d dreamt that I’d woken up and James had been gone, i’d looked everywhere but he had disappeared off the face of the earth. I reached over to shake him awake, something I wouldn't normally do, but I needed him to reassure me. I laid a hand on the pile of blankets beside me, shaking them gently. A groggy mumble answered before a soft voice spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What is it, are the Hyena's back?” a woman’s voice, filled with groggy childlike excitement. Fin’s voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Everything crashed back into my brain, bringing my thoughts from the half dreaming state i’d been in to the stark cold reality. I had been dreaming, that was true, but the dream had been a memory. A memory that was no less difficult now than it was then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Sorry, I just wanted you to know I'm stepping out for a second.” I made an excuse, getting out of bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Okay.” She yawned. “Don’t get eaten.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   I stepped out of the camper as she fell back asleep. The door had barely closed behind me before my knees buckled and i leaned back on the camper as I slid to the ground. My chest felt like it was in a vice grip; I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding against my ribs like it was trying to break free. My throat burned and i tried to swallow the feeling away as I felt the tears well in my eyes. A choked sob escaped my lips and I covered it with my hands, not wanting to wake Fin. I made myself breathe through the pain as I let the tears fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>   I realized that i hadn’t cried when it had happened, I had been to focused on finding him and my the time i’d let that idea go i was far enough removed from the moment that I believed I'd moved past it. Now, as the memory replayed in my head I realized nothing was further from the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   I heard the camper door squeak open and wiped my cheeks, hoping Fin wouldn’t be able to see my puffy ‘i’ve been crying’ face in the dark. She didn’t say anything or ask what was wrong, she just sat down beside me and put an arm around me. I let out a shaky exhale and laid my head on her shoulder. She leaned her head onto mine and we sat in silence, she didn’t need to talk, i understood the gesture. That was the beauty of my relationship with Fin, she wasn’t good at emotions or making things better but I didn't need her to talk or try to fix things for me. She knew I could handle myself but she also understood, better than most, that sometimes you just need to know that someone is there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “There’s something I didn't tell you...about that first mission to Franz Josef Land.” I whispered, i didn’t like keeping secrets from Fin, and this hadn’t been one I'd meant to keep but for so long I'd been telling myself it couldn’t be I hadn’t wanted anyone else to prove it wasn’t so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “What’s that.” She said the words but her inflection wasn’t asking, there was no need to ask, she was just letting me know she was listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “The guy...the guy that helped me get out.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I think...I...It is the same guy I told you about, the one i met here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “You’re mystery Yasha/James?” She lifted her head, the surprise apparent in her voice. I nodded.  “Shit...no wonder you wanted to go back in…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yeah...well...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “...i wish i would have given you this sooner, if i had known i wouldn’t have held on to this so long...i mean, it’s not much but…” She reached behind her and i heard paper crumple, she pulled out a present that looked like it had been hastily wrapped and then shoved into a carry on. I realized that was probably what actually happened and it made me smile. I ripped the edge and slid out the folders inside, the writing on the covers seemed to be russian but there was some code i couldn’t quite decipher off the top of my head. I removed the rubber bands holding the files together and opened the first. It was a thin dossier, handwritten russian notes about me. Nothing that couldn’t be found through public S.H.I.E.L.D. employment records and a FOIA form. A photo of me that i’d never seen before was clipped to the inside cover and as i read i realized it reminded me of the forms animal breeders would use to determine matches for the most valuable lineage. I closed the file, handing it back to her as i opened the other. The forms were similar, the handwritten notes and russian shorthand, but instead of a name the files was just labeled as “Актив: Зимний солдат”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>   The photo is what got my attention. He looked different than the man I'd remembered in my dream but not so different from the man I'd been locked in a cage with. It seemed strange even knowing them both that they were the same but there was no doubt in my mind now. With the photo in front of me i knew i hadn’t projected James’ face onto the man in the cage out of panic or fear. My subconscious trying to find a way to cope with the situation. I’d never truly believed that was the case but it seemed easier than the other option. That he was the same man and didn’t remember who I was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Where did you…” I started to ask and Fin held up her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Well, I didn't intentionally not turn these files over to the agency after Cap and I revisited Franz Josef Land...if that’s what you were thinking.” She squeezed my shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Of course not.” I feigned sincerity. “You would never.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Oh no, never.” She mimicked my tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I kind of love you, you know.” I put my arm around her waist, squeezing her back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “I know. Me too.” She laid her head back on mine. “Merry Christmas, E.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Merry Christmas, Fin.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Prelude to a Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>[Elena - 21:00 Dec 31st, 2013 - EN ROUTE]</b>
</p><p>   I was getting antsy and at some point my anxious mood had gone from mental to physical. I’d started pacing. It’s not that I didn't like flying, flying was fine, it was being cooped up in a small space with all these other people that was driving me bonkers. Usually we had private flights for missions but with us being out of the loop for a few months other missions took priority and our options were to wait another month for a flight out or go the civilian route. I didn’t mind waiting but I knew that Fin was ready to be back in the states and on more ‘active’ missions again. </p><p> </p><p>   “Excuse me, miss?” A flight attendant was tapping my shoulder. “I’m going to need you to take your seat, we’re landing soon.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Right, Sorry.” I smiled at her, hoping to convey that I didn't mean to be an inconvenience and just wanted off the plane. I took my seat beside Fin who was laying back with her eyes closed and noise cancelling headphones on. She must have felt me take my seat because as soon as I did she handed me my phone. I took it, seeing I had missed a call from Natasha. Great, hopefully she didn’t need me to do something in Wakanda. I put in an earbud to listen to the voicemail, avoiding being seen using my phone so close to landing. I already had the flight attendants concerned with my pacing. </p><p> </p><p>   “Shit, I forgot you’re probably still on the plane.” Natasha’s voice shouted over background music. “Well when you get this Tony is throwing a new years thing at the tower. I’m not sure what time you land but if you make it in you guys should come and make it a ‘welcome back’ thing for you guys too. Honestly I've been here for a couple hours and I need some badass woman company so please save me.”</p><p> </p><p>   “What are you doing?” A man’s voice spoke near enough to her to be heard. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m trying to get Elena and Fin to come to the party.” Nat explained. “Hey wait--”</p><p> </p><p>   “Daughter of Phil! Vargrburin! Will you not come to the festival of renewal at the man of iron’s home?” Thor must have taken her phone, his shouts made me regret the earbud decision. </p><p> </p><p>   “Get here if you can. PLEASE.” Nat yelled, probably trying to get her phone back from Thor, who must have ended the call in the struggle. I turned to Fin, lifting off one of the sides of her headphones. </p><p> </p><p>   “Hey. Want to go to a party?” I asked, unsure if I would rather her say yes or no at this point. She shrugged without opening her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>   “Why not.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Fin - 23:03 Dec 31st 2013 - AVENGERS TOWER]</b>
</p><p>   The house wasn’t as full as I'd expected, typically Tony’s soirees were full blown but this was quiet...for him. I was starting to regret agreeing to come as the insecure voice in the back of my head reminded me that I was still mad at Tony. I thought i was over it but as his smiling face greeted us it all came rushing to the surface.</p><p> </p><p>   “HEY!” Tony half hugged us both and I could smell the expensive scotch on his breath as he spoke. “I didn’t know you guys were back, everybody will be happy to see you.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Everybody but you?” I read the context between the words he’d spoken without making eye contact and a flash of guilt crossed his face. Apparently I’d left my polite conversation filter in Africa and Tony was getting full unfiltered mtyholi. I saw Elena side eying me but she said nothing. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m sorry Fin, I know I'm an asshole...I’m sorry I didn't come.” He didn’t have to tell me that he meant Coulson’s funeral. </p><p> </p><p>   “It’s not that...it’s every day after that Tony. Peggy used to bring me to see you all the time! Then she got sick and you just disappeared into the company.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I got busy Fin.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I know that Tony, that’s what I told myself too. Even when the papers showed you drinking yourself to death. I hid that from Peggy by the way. You’re welcome.</p><p> </p><p>   “I didn’t ask you to.”</p><p> </p><p>   “You didn’t have to...After Coulson was assigned to talk to you about afghanistan i thought...I thought he might have told you who he was to me to help you trust him.</p><p>   </p><p>   “He didn’t, I didn't know until I started digging Fin. He didn’t tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I know. He didn’t like to tell anyone.” I laughed.” He thought it would keep me safe, but New York...After New York you knew I was a SHIELD agent, you knew I'd lost what I'd lost and you knew what that was like, first hand. I guess I just expected...I don't know...something…”</p><p> </p><p>   “I know I should have Fin. I had my own shit to deal with and I didn't think me telling you that I coped with my parent’s death by trying to find mine in a bottle was going to help you any. Is that what you wanted? Advice from a fuck up?”</p><p> </p><p>   “No...I wanted a familiar face...”I exhaled and straightened. “I’m ruining your party, can we start over and not take this bull shit into next year?”</p><p> </p><p>   “If you insist.” He shut the door in our faces and we stood in silence for a moment before Elena shot me a look that said she was too jet lagged for this bullshit. I reached up and knocked on the door, Tony opened it with a huge grin. . “Fin! Elena! SO good to see you!”</p><p> </p><p>   “TONY! It’s been a long time. I’m so happy you invited us!” He took me under his arm and led us into the house. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m glad you could make it Fin, we should really do this more often.” </p><p> </p><p>   Once inside Elena broke away from me to talk to Thor. She’d mentioned wanting a word with him when she found out he was here but I wasn’t sure what about. As I looked around I noticed a handful of people I didn't recognize but for the most part it was a work party. Agent Hill and Director Fury sat on the couch, leaning close as they tried to talk over the music. Natasha and Agent Barton had figured a way around that and were frantically signing what seemed to be a heated debate over whether or not a cheeto was a chip. I spotted Cap sitting alone on a couch, looking around like a lost puppy and decided to join him. He didn’t notice when i sat down at first, his attention on the small crowd of dancers and I startled him when i leaned toward him and spoke. I wondered if Nat had told him we were coming. </p><p> </p><p>   “Want to dance?” I asked, unable to keep a serious tone. When he turned to me his face was, at first horrified shock at the idea he might have to dance to the EDM playing over the loudspeakers, followed by relief once he recognized me as a friend and not a random party goer. </p><p> </p><p>   “You want to?” He asked back, a little of the panic returning to his eyes. I laughed. </p><p> </p><p>  “No......I don’t really dance for fun and if i do it is to music, not whatever this is.” I gestured to the crowd, noticing a couple that was grinding to the beat.  His gaze had followed my gesture and upon seeing the spectacle, turned back. “Not your speed either I take it?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Not quite.” He shook his head. “But I thought all you spy types learned all the fancy dancing techniques to better lure your enemies.” He joked.</p><p> </p><p>   “There are a lot of things ‘us spies’ learn for work. Just because I can do something that some people think is fun, doesn’t mean I want to in my spare time.” I laughed.</p><p> </p><p>   “Like what?”</p><p> </p><p>   “I dunno...I mean, I can kill someone nine ways with a spoon. It doesn’t mean that’s how I'm spending my Saturday night.” I smiled innocently. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m glad to see you made it back, I was starting to think we’d lost you and Elena to Africa for good!” He grinned as he shouted over the pulsing base that had suddenly dropped. I strained to hear him over the din. </p><p> </p><p>   “What!?” I yelled back. I was starting to understand why Tony didn’t throw intimate parties, he didn’t seem to know how. Cap leaned forward, scanning the room before standing and offering me a hand up. I took it and he led me to one of the doors that opened onto a back patio. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elena - 23:31 Dec 31st 2013 - AVENGERS TOWER]</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> Warrior Daughter - Wildwood Kin </em> </span>
</p><p>   I stood awkwardly to the side while some women I didn't recognize took turns making innuendos about hammers while Thor smiled, the references going over his head. Once they decided he wasn’t going to reciprocate the flirting they moved off, I assumed to find another muscle mass to harass. He saw me before I greeted him. </p><p> </p><p>   “Elena! How is my favorite Vargrburin?” He clapped his hands on my shoulders before pulling me into an embrace. </p><p> </p><p>   “Favorite?” I asked. “How many do you know?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Only you.” He grinned. </p><p> </p><p>   “That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you.” I looked around, we were in a quieter corner and no one else seemed to want to occupy the space. “Can you tell me about the Vargrburin? You keep calling me that but...i don’t know what that is.”</p><p> </p><p>   “It’s what you are!” He looked confused, unsure how i could not know what i was. </p><p> </p><p>   “No, I understand that. I just...I only know what my father told me about what I am. I never knew what we were called or that it had anything to do with norse myth--” I stopped myself from calling it mythology. “I didn’t realize it had anything to do with Asgardians.” I continued. </p><p> </p><p>   “I’m afraid I may not have all the answers you seek, however i can tell you how the Vargrburin came to be?” He prompted, hoping it would be enough. It was. </p><p> </p><p>   “Please!” I was probably smiling like an idiot but ever since he’d seen what i was i had wanted to ask him what he knew about people like me. </p><p> </p><p>   “Come.” he turned, leading me down a hall so some chairs in a nook. “Please, sit.”</p><p> </p><p>I did and he set Mjolnir in another seat before straightening to tell the tale. </p><p> </p><p>    “When Odin was young he was a wanderer, exploring the lands of Midgard and beyond. He had two direwolf companions, Geri the ravenous was the female and Freki the greedy was the male.”</p><p>   “As he wandered Odin found Midgard lacking something that Asgard cherished, Humanity. And so Odin created humans to inhabit Midgard. He told them to learn from Geri and Freki because they were cunning and wise. They taught man cooperation, hunting and self defense and as repayment Man let Geri and Freki populate midgard with wolves.”</p><p>   “One day, when men had long forgotten where they learned their survival skills, Odin saw men killing the children of Geri and Freki for more than mere survival. The men hunted the wolves out of spite and nothing more. Because of this Odin went to his wolves and thanked them for being his protector on his travels by creating a new being to defend their offspring from man.” </p><p>   “Odin went into the forest and found pups, born of Geri and Freki separate lines among the wolves of midgard. From one litter he chose 3 daughters of Geri and from the other 3 sons of Freki. He held the pups, giving asgardian names; Frode, the enlightened, Asnund the Divine protector, Gudmund the defense of God,  Bergliot the light will save, Eira the Merciful, and Folami the one who demands respect.” Thor paused, making sure he hadn’t left any names or translations out before continuing. </p><p>   “As Odin named them he kissed the tops of their heads and they turned to babes in his hands. They looked up at him, their bodies soft and hairless and human but their eyes were still those of Geri and Freki.”</p><p>   “As they grew the new children wandered midgard with Odin, learning the ways of the humans as they walked on two feet and the ways of the wolves when they walked on four. The males were strong and fearless, cunning and brave. The females had strengths of their own. Physically they could hold their own against their brothers but they had more, they had compassion, mercy, love and empathy. Where the males had the capacity to destroy, the females healed and created.”</p><p>   “When they reached adulthood Odin sent each being to their own corner of the world to protect their kin from the humans who lived there. Once on their own they learned to walk between the worlds of man and beast, doing Odin’s bidding as well as making lives of their own. They each found their match and had children of their own, as did their children’s children, and with every generation the children ventured further into the lives of men.”</p><p>   “Eventually some forgot how to wear their fur and abandoned their true purpose for mortal ambitions. Those that married for power and wealth prospered in their endeavours but their line of Vargrburin ended with them. However, those who married for love and kept watch over the creatures of the world kept their gifts and continued on as Odin had commanded.”</p><p>   “And so the Vargrburin continued on Midgard, all the way to you.” He grinned, proud of himself and his storytelling. I was still absorbing the information. </p><p> </p><p>   “I knew some of that.” I said, just to say something. “My father told me that our...power, I suppose you would call it, is only passed on if you were with your partner for the right reasons. And I was always taught to help others, not just animals but anyone who needed it…”</p><p> </p><p>   “Do you?” He asked seriously. </p><p> </p><p>   “Do i what?” </p><p> </p><p>   “Do you protect those who need your help, animals or otherwise?”</p><p> </p><p>  “Yes.” For some reason I felt pressure in my response, as though the son of Odin could take my abilities away if I wasn't using them as intended. “Fin and I just got back from Africa, we saved a lot of animals from poachers and--”</p><p> </p><p>   “This sounds like a glorious tale!” He shouted, pulling me to my feet. “We must find the daughter of Phil so you can tell it properly!” </p><p> </p><p>   Before I could argue he was pulling me by the hand back out into the party. As we entered i heard the countdown to midnight and wondered if the new year would be half as interesting as the last had turned out to be. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>[Fin - 23:52 Dec 31st 2013 - AVENGERS TOWER]</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Prelude to a kiss - Billie Holiday</em> </span>
</p><p>   Once the glass closed behind us the music, if you could call it that, was muffled enough that we could speak. </p><p> </p><p>   “I said I'm glad you made it back. You and Elena were missed on the team.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Oh, so the ‘team’ missed us.” I teased and watched his cheeks color as I emphasized ‘team’. </p><p> </p><p>   “I...Yes, and Natasha and Me. We finally got to do some regular ops and you two were out on your big important diplomatic mission for the Director. You missed out.” He smiled, somewhere during his sentence his brain had caught on that I was giving him shit. </p><p> </p><p>   “Well I’m sorry that we missed all the fun. You didn’t jump out of any burning buildings without me, did you?” He shook his head and I continued. “Frankly it’s a miracle any of you survived. We missed you guys too...How's the side?" I was trying to make conversation, but having been out of the loop for a while I wasn't sure where to start. We usually talked about work.</p><p> </p><p>   "It's good." He smiled, hand touching his side subconsciously. "Although, I think I'll be sticking with Elena for any future medical needs"</p><p> </p><p>   "Probably a good call." I laughed.</p><p> </p><p>   “I like the hair” he gestured to the side of his head and I reached up to touch the closely buzzed sides self consciously. “It’s different.” </p><p> </p><p>   “Good different or bad different?”</p><p> </p><p>   “I think it's good.” he smiled. </p><p> </p><p>   “The Dora Milaje, they guard the royal family in Wakanda, they are all women and they all have completely shaved heads.” I explained. “Their general said she would teach me if I shaved mine too...this was a compromise.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Do I have to worry about you being able to kick my ass now?”</p><p> </p><p>   “What do you mean now?” I scoffed. “I could totally take you down before.” That got a genuine chuckle out of him and I wasn't sure if it was because he agreed or thought I was being ridiculous. </p><p> </p><p>   “So, what else did you two get up to? Or can you say?”</p><p> </p><p>   “I feel like other than training I did nothing but sit on my butts and listen to people argue...although we did get to go camping in the park ...and i think i got proposed too but i’m still fuzzy on the translation...” I joked, remembering how Elena and Okoye had given me a hard time about the jabari leader approving of me.</p><p> </p><p>   “How did that happen?” </p><p> </p><p>   “The camping or…” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Right. Apparently being a reckless idiot impresses people. One of the tribe leaders liked that I stood up to him and invited me back to his kingdom in the mountains.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Did you go?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Nah...Queen of a tribe seems like too much work, and he wouldn’t let Elena come so we went camping instead.</p><p> </p><p>   “And how was that?” He seemed to genuinely be asking, which I wasn't used to getting from people that weren’t Elena. </p><p> </p><p>   “It was beautiful, we got to see elephants and lions, a few hyenas. I liked them.” I tried to think if anything really interesting had happened, other than seeing the animals. “Elena had been there before and knew some of the people that worked on the refuge so we got to help take our some poachers! That was probably the highlight of the trip.”</p><p> </p><p>   “That sounds way more fun that the mission we went on, maybe you didn’t miss too much after all.” </p><p> </p><p>   “What did you do?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Armed escort.” He answered flatly. I made a face in response. </p><p> </p><p>   “Ew. yeah.” I patted his arm. “I’m not going to say I'm sorry we weren’t here for that.” he laughed again as Natasha walked out to join us, carrying drinks. </p><p> </p><p>   “So THIS is where you two have been hiding.” She handed a glass to each of us and before we could argue she shook her head at us. “It’s bad luck not to have a drink on new years. Besides, I made them strong enough that you might even be able to feel it for a millisecond.”</p><p> </p><p>   She winked and I took a sip, I wasn’t entirely sure she hadn’t given us straight rubbing alcohol and she laughed at the face I made. </p><p> </p><p>   “You two behave out here.” she turned away from us to go back inside. “Don’t make me send a chaperone!” Once she was inside I heard Cap pouring his drink into a potted plant and when he turned back to face me i traded glasses with him. He raised a questioning eyebrow before pouring mine into the plant as well. </p><p> </p><p>   “Poor plant.” I mused. </p><p> </p><p>   “It’s Tony’s plant, I'm sure it can hold its liquor. I’m more concerned that Nat is going to see empty glasses and bring seconds.” He wasn’t wrong and I turned my back to the windows, hiding my empty glass from anyone inside that might be looking out. </p><p> </p><p>   “Have you been staying here? Avengers Tower?” I said the last words with grandiosity. </p><p> </p><p>   “No, definitely not. Don’t get me wrong, I like Tony and the idea behind it is great but...i can’t live in this.” he gestured around him. “I got an apartment in D.C. closer to headquarters...it seemed to make more sense with the team there.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Understandable.” I couldn't imagine him and Tony sharing space very well. “Is it easier?” </p><p> </p><p>   “Easier than what?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Than being in New York.” I shrugged. “I just thought, since you have more frame of reference for new york...from before...that washington might be easier. Like in D.C. you probably don’t walk down a street and remember how in 1942 that building on the corner was a grocery and today it’s a forty story high rise with a starbucks in the lobby.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I hadn’t really thought about it, but yea. It’s nice to learn a new place and not comparing it to anything...You two coming back or have I lost you to Director Fury’s whims for good?”</p><p> </p><p>   “We will be back under you in a few days.” realizing that sounded wrong I kept talking and hoped he hadn’t noticed. “Our place has been sitting empty for a while so I’m glad S.H.I.E.L.D. pays rent when you’re on a mission, otherwise I would be a little pissed about having to pay for a place I'm not getting to stay in.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Especially when you have a perfectly good house to stay in.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Exactly!” I looked into the empty glass. “Brooklyn is a bit of a commute though. We don’t get to go back as much as I'd like.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Have you been home since you got back?”</p><p> </p><p>   “No.” I laughed. “We landed...maybe an hour before we got here. We stopped at the apartment to shower and change. I’m honestly exhausted but when Natasha invites you to a party, you go.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Well if it makes any difference, you certainly don’t look like you just got off a 16 hour flight.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Thanks, but i’m taking into consideration that it’s very dark out here and I'm pretty sure those drunk plant fumes are getting to you.” He laughed before turning to the uproar of voices coming from inside.</p><p> </p><p>10...9...8…</p><p> </p><p>   “You know” He started, laughter still in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>7...6...5…</p><p> </p><p>   “I really did miss you.” He smiled down at his glass, looking up at me through eyelashes most women would kill for. </p><p> </p><p>4...3...2…</p><p> </p><p>   “Yea. me too.” I thought back to the night I hadn't been able to sleep, my brain throwing out the crazy thought that it would have been different if he had been there, and I realized I meant it. I’d missed him. </p><p> </p><p>1!</p><p> </p><p>   I leaned forward, my lips brushing his while the party goers inside cheered for the new year. Fireworks went off accompanied by the cheering city around us, all of which were sensations I barely registered compared to the electricity that raced up my spine when he leaned into the kiss. When I pulled back I was glad it was dark enough to hide the blush I felt heating my cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>   “Happy New Year.” I exhaled. </p><p> </p><p>   “...Happy New Year, Fin” He looked like he was about to say more and I held my breath, suddenly worried about my impulsive decision.</p><p> </p><p>   “Fin, Daughter of Phil!” I pushed us apart as Thor burst onto the patio, Elena in tow “Ah, I see you are in the company of your Captain, I apologize if I have interrupted but Elena was telling me of your adventure in the land of Africa! It seemed ill form to speak of the deeds without you present, will you join us inside?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Sure?” I looked at Elena who shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>   “Excellent! She tells me you do not like the noise the man of iron calls music, I have asked him to forgo such things now that the celebration of the year’s rebirth has concluded.”</p><p> </p><p>   He took my hand and Elena opened the door as we all walked back inside. I looked over my shoulder, hoping to convey a look of apology as I left the balcony, but I couldn't catch Cap’s eye. He was looking away, arms crossed in front of him, the most well known psychological signal for ‘closed off’. Shit. I guess it was time to start working on my five part apology so I could stay on the team. </p><p>
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  <b>[Elena - 00:12 Jan 1st 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]</b>
</p><p>   “We had already packed up our gear and were ready to head home but when we got word there were confirmed poachers in the park we decided to stay and help.” I’d been telling the tale of our illustrious adventures in Wakandan politics to a mostly bored crowd but at the mention of poachers Thor leaned forward, ready for the exciting part. “We didn’t have to, but I knew if Fin didn’t get to punch something she was going to declare the trip the worst mission ever.” Everyone laughed and I looked in her direction, expecting her to add something. Instead she sat quietly in the chair, looking intently to a loose thread she was picking at on the hem of her dress. </p><p>   “So we packed up and headed out to their last location, we knew there were five of them and they were all armed, meanwhile all we had was a tranquilizer gun and a bo staff that Fin had gotten as a gift from the Dora Milaje. Eventually we found their trail and came up behind them.”</p><p> </p><p>   “What then!” Thor asked, lifting his beer to where I stood. “Did you tear out their throats!?” </p><p> </p><p>   “Not quite.” I shook my head with a laugh. “There were we were outnumbered and outgunned so rushing in headlong would have been a bad plan.  </p><p> </p><p>   “I don’t know, it usually works for Cap.” Natasha teased. “ Isn’t that right Steve?”</p><p> </p><p>  “Huh?” He looked up at her, pulled away from whatever he had been thinking about. She noticed it, same as I did, however, I didn't feel the need to comment. </p><p> </p><p>   “Are we staying up too late for you grandpa?” she elbowed him. </p><p> </p><p>   “Ha! Cause I'm old.”he shook his head. “So funny.” He tried to sound amused but his heart wasn’t in it. </p><p> </p><p>    “Anyway,” I continued. “We came up with a plan, sort of. The group was spread out, trying to flush wildlife out of the brush and they didn’t seem to be communicating well with each other so we crept behind the one pulling up the rear and well…” I gestured for Fin to chime in, it had been her take down and she was usually good at describing them in glorious detail. </p><p> </p><p>   “I hit him with the stick.” She said flatly...ok that was anticlimactic.</p><p> </p><p>   “How! Tell us more, daughter of Phil. Did you leap at him from your cover, swinging over your head and taking him down in one mighty blow? Or did you rush him with a flurry of swings until he succumbed to his injuries!” Thor sounded so excited and I wondered what talking about battles in the feast halls of Asgard was like, I didn't think about it long before Fin threw cold water on his exuberance. </p><p> </p><p>   “I hit him on the head...with the stick.” Her eyes darted to the people sitting on the couch across from her before going back to whatever she was fidgeting with. I glanced over where Cap and Natasha were sitting, Natasha looking as confused by Fin’s lack of excitement as I was. </p><p> </p><p>   “So...right. She knocked him out and we tied him up. We took his gun but didn’t want to use it if we could avoid it, dead poachers aren’t a huge weight on the guilt of the wakandan people but there is more justice done if they are brought in alive.”</p><p>   “We went like that, one by one. Whoever could get the drop without being seen would take them out as quietly as possible. Eventually we had everyone but the leader hogtied in the brush. Fin, not wanting to leave firearms lying around had picked up every freaking gun these guys had.” I laughed, remembering the image. “I mean, there was no way she would have been able to use them all but she was loaded down like the freaking terminator.” </p><p> </p><p>   “That’s a movie about a robot from the future who--” Nat started, leaning to stage whisper to steve. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah. I’ve seen it. Thanks.” He responded and I continued, choosing to ignore them.</p><p> </p><p>   “We walk up to this guy, who at this point hasn’t noticed anything amiss and Fin just walks out right in front of him completely loaded down with all of his buddies’ weapons. Just like there was nothing unusual about walking up to a stranger with an arsenal strapped to you. As soon as he saw her he panicked and squeezed the trigger but she didn’t even flinch. She looked past him, toward me and made eye contact and I knew she was telling me to stay put. I DID want to kill her for that when I saw the blood.”</p><p> </p><p>   “You were wounded!?” Thor shouted, moving from his place sitting on the table to sit beside Fin. “Was it terrible?” </p><p> </p><p>   “I’ve had worse.” She shrugged. Thor beamed at her seeming indifference and I caught Cap giving Fin the once over, trying to figure out if she was alright. </p><p> </p><p>   “Truly you are a greater warrior that I'd surmised, Finlay, daughter of Phil, Son of Coul. I should not be surprised, Sif is one of my most fierce allies and she is also a woman.”</p><p> </p><p>   “She had taken the bullet high in the chest, luckily it had missed lung and bone and gone straight through but seeing this with his own eyes the poacher dropped the gun and fell to his knees, begging for mercy from Kokou.”</p><p> </p><p>  “Coo coo ca choo?” Barton spoke for the first time since I started the story. </p><p> </p><p>   “Bless you.” Tony replied in typical Tony fashion. </p><p> </p><p>   “Kokou. It’s one of the deities of Benin, it’s a Yoruba religion. Kokou is a spirit with a thirst for blood that possesses people and proves its power with demonstrations of it’s extreme pain tolerance...like swallowing knives or--”</p><p> </p><p>   “Getting shot at close range.” Cap interjected, sounding oddly hostile about it and I made a note not to get shot on any of his missions. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah, or that.  I’d never seen someone surrender so fast ...But once we got him restrained we patched her up and headed into the city. Unfortunately the extra day meant the only way to still catch our connecting flight into New York was commercial, but you do what you have to do. At that point I think we were both ready to be home.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Well we’re glad to have you back.” Nat announced. “It’s been a real sausage show without you.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Hey, no one was showing.” Tony interjected. </p><p> </p><p>   “I don’t know, Banner isn’t always wearing the most durable pants and when he goes green…” Barton shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>   “Where is this sausage? I see no meat?” Thor looked around. </p><p> </p><p>   “On that note.” Fin got to her feet. “I’m calling a car, I’m exhausted.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Come on, don’t go!” Tony whined. “ There’s a whole bedroom upstairs not being used. Right Cap? Fin could stay in your room.” </p><p> </p><p>   “I’d rather sleep in my own bed, thanks.” She started walking and I hurried to follow, when we got in the elevator I could have sworn her cheeks were flushed but I couldn't tell if something had made her blush or if Nat really had been feeding her straight alcohol all evening. I didn’t pry, she seemed like she was cranky enough as it was. </p><p>
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  <b>[Fin - 00:19 Jan 1st 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]</b>
</p><p>  I’d barely heard Elena telling the poacher story, i’d been too busy trying to read Cap. Unfortunately all I was getting from him was stoic silence or low key anger so it wasn’t looking good for my future on the best strike team in S.H.I.E.L.D.</p><p>  What the fuck. Why had I done that? That was a terrible, horrible idea. I should have never had the IDEA let alone DONE it. What the FUCK. He’s my superior officer, he could kick me from the team. He could kick US from the team. I could have just lost BOTH of us our careers. Stupid, supid, stupid. </p><p>  The thoughts kept circling my head on the way home. At some point Elena had called a cab and ushered me in but she hadn’t asked what was wrong. I knew she wanted to, I could see it on her face, but she was letting me stew. </p><p> </p><p>  Why had I done that? I replayed it in my head, like a mission gone wrong, trying to analyse the moment things went south. </p><p> </p><p>  It had started with talking...just talking. A conversation I'd have with anyone else in the tower. Some friendly banter, maybe teasing him a little more than anyone else because I liked it when he got a little flustered and his ears turned pink...Ding! First problem. Going to have to read into that later...Ok, then he said I looked nice, but he was probably just being nice. And then the countdown started and he was smiling and I thought about how I'd never had anyone to kiss on new years before. Problem two. Why did I care? Why did I think about it? It had never been something I'd sought out before, so why now? Why was I even thinking about kissing at that moment? </p><p>   Then he said that he’d missed me and I remembered the night I couldn't sleep and thought of him. The moments I thought of something to tell him but he wasn’t there...and wanting him to be there. And now he was there, here, in front of me. Smiling and...and...I WANTED to kiss him. </p><p>   If it wasn’t new years and there wasn’t a party, would I still have wanted to kiss him? Was the tradition of the kiss just the excuse I needed to do something I'd actually been wanting to do? I sought him out at the party, after all. I could have gone to anyone else but i went straight to him. </p><p> </p><p>What. the. Fuck.</p><p>
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  <b>[Elena - 15:01 Jan 1st 2014 - BROOKLYN]</b>
</p><p>   Fin finally dragged her ass out of bed and I wasn't sure if it was the jet lag or if she’d just been hiding. When she didn’t acknowledge me as she walked through the living room my gut told me it was the latter but I wasn't ready to put money on it. After a minute she joined me on the couch, armed with a coke and a turkey sandwich. </p><p> </p><p>   “Finally got hungry enough to venture out?” I tested the water. </p><p> </p><p>   “I can go back to my room if you’d prefer.” She said through a mouthful. </p><p> </p><p>   “No, this is fine.” I waited for her to keep talking but she didn’t. “So...we aren’t going to talk about it?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Nope.” She slurped the foam off the top of her coke can and picked up her phone, engaging with it instead of me.  </p><p> </p><p>   “Right.” Well this year was off to a great start.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Fin - 18:12  Feb 13th 2014 - BROOKLYN]</b>
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  <em><span class="u"> Heart Attack - Demi Lovato</span> </em>
</p><p>   It was technically the day before Valentine’s day, but it was still a Thursday and we had come to Brooklyn for the long weekend. It wasn’t an official holiday by any means but the 14th falling on a Friday had everyone up in arms about taking the day off. </p><p> </p><p>   “Fin!” I heard Elena shouting from the other bathroom, I walked over to see what she needed. Her hair was still down, I'd help her with that when I'd finished mine and she had her back to me. “Can you get that?”</p><p> </p><p>   I zipped up the red and white patterned skirt and she pulled on the top, able to button it on her own. The outfit was low cut in the front but not obnoxiously revealing with three quarter sleeves and a skirt that hit just at the knee it suited her petite frame. I was glad we’d had some dresses altered to fit her, it was amazing what a few inches of height difference could make. She turned to see what I was wearing and her face fell. </p><p> </p><p>   “Fin, it’s Valentine’s day. You are supposed to be wearing pink and red.” She looked down at my outfit. A white button up blouse with a high neckline and a skirt so dark red it almost looked black. </p><p> </p><p>   “I am wearing red.” I gestured to the skirt and smiled. “It matches my lipstick.” She looked up at my face to confirm but I hadn't finished my makeup.</p><p> </p><p>She rolled her eyes at me. </p><p> </p><p>   “Fiiiiine.” I admitted. “ I’m wearing the blush jacket over this too. I won’t be a complete bah-humbug.” </p><p> </p><p>   “That’s all I ask. Did you find the heavy coats? I don’t think the snow is supposed to stop coming down anytime soon.”</p><p> </p><p>  “Yeah.” I left her for a second, bringing the coats back with me. “Which will be less offensive to your other half, fox or mink?”</p><p> </p><p>   “Mink will be less like wearing a cousin, thanks for asking.” </p><p> </p><p>   “No problem. I’m going to finish my face and come do your hair.” I announced, leaving the room again. I pinned my hair to keep it out of my face but left it mostly down. I didn’t bother with blush but went dark on the lips and eyes, both in varying shades of red to appease my love loving companion. It wasn’t valentines day itself that she was into as far as I could tell, she hated the commercialism and the last minute flower and candy buying just because society says you should, but she was a firm believer in love. True, honest, fairytale, love at first sight, soulmate, love. I didn’t get it but given her overall life experience I couldn't fault her for it either, even if that meant I had to play by the cupid rules of color dress code when we went out. </p><p>   When I made it back to her bathroom she tried not to look annoyed at my bold makeup choices, my pale skin made the dark tones even more stark in the fluorescent lights of the vanity. While she did her best not to glower I pinned her hair in soft waves, framing her face. I was almost done when she spoke. </p><p> </p><p>   “We should see if Steve wants to come.” The statement was innocent but it hit me like a freight train. I tried to recover without her noticing. </p><p> </p><p>   “Oh...you know...I’m sure it’s not really something he would enjoy.” </p><p> </p><p>   “Really.” I could tell it wasn’t a question by the point blank unfiltered look of ‘are you fucking kidding me’ that accompanied the word.</p><p> </p><p>   “I mean yeah, he’d like the music and stuff but do you really want to call your commanding officer and invite him to a Valentine's party? Isn’t that a little over the line? Not to mention the awkwardness.”</p><p> </p><p>   “What awkwardness?” </p><p> </p><p>   “You know, the awkwardness of bringing a coworker to a non work thing, then all you talk about while your there is work and then it feels like work and you don’t enjoy yourself and then you go back to work and their always like ‘hey remember that one time’, but you’re like ‘sure but that was seven years ago dude, let it go.” I rambled. </p><p> </p><p>   “Are you high?” Elena shot me a look. “When has that ever happened, ever?”</p><p> </p><p>   “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Every TV show about people who work together that i’ve ever watched?”</p><p> </p><p>  “Uh huh...OK. well i’m willing to deal with those horrible consequences. Anything else you’re concerned about?”</p><p> </p><p>I felt my cheeks flush and cursed my face for it’s sudden but inevitable betrayal. </p><p> </p><p>   “Fin…” She said my name like i’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar and was trying to deny it. I was honestly surprised I'd managed to keep it to myself this long and if I didn't have a real reason not to invite Captain tight pants to the party, she would. I shook my head, trying not to think about Captain Rogers or how he looked in his pants and realizing i made a lot of firefly references in my internal monologue when i was nervous. I filed that away for later contemplation. “Fin, if your face goes and darker red it’s going to match your lipstick. Stop holding your breath before you pop a blood vessel.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I….I don’t want you to invite him ...I have reasons.” I managed. </p><p> </p><p>   “Go on.” She waved an impatient hand in the air. </p><p> </p><p>   “Personal reasons.” Her face told me that was enough. “Personal reasons that make me hesitant to interact with Captain Rogers outside of a strictly work environment.”</p><p> </p><p>   “You’re going to have to do better than that.” She picked up her phone. “If I call now he can make it in time to give us a ride. </p><p> </p><p>   “I KISSED HIM!” I shouted, slapping my hands over my mouth when my ears registered that the words had actually been out loud. She dropped her phone and it bounced on the cushioned bath mat. </p><p> </p><p>   “You WHAT? When did? Where did? Why...How did I not know about this?” She was going though all the question words but not forming sentences. Great, i broke her. </p><p> </p><p>   “New years, at midnight. It’s bad luck not to kiss someone at midnight right? And it wasn’t a big deal so I didn't tell you.”</p><p> </p><p>   “One, I was with Thor at midnight and didn’t kiss him. Two, if it wasn’t a big deal you would have told me, and three, How bad did he react because you were a pissy ass the rest of the night.”</p><p> </p><p>   “He didn’t, he...i don’t know. He didn’t react badly or anything he acted, normal i guess? It was just a little kiss and after we said happy new year and then Thor brought us inside. No big deal.” I hoped. He seemed pretty pissed off once we got inside and the only thing that had happened between his good mood when we arrived and his bad mood when we left was me kissing him.</p><p> </p><p>   “Then what’s your problem? Do you think if I invite him you’re going to trip and fall face first onto his lips?” </p><p> </p><p>   My face grew hot again. Son of a Bitch. I could hide covert intelligence from foreign nations but i couldn’t hold up to Elena’s interrogation about kissing a boy!? What the hell is wrong with me?</p><p> </p><p>   “Oh my god you DO think that...not exactly that, but you think you might kiss him again if you just hang out with him, don’t you?” I didn’t answer. “Wait, Fin...do you WANT to kiss him again!?” she teased. </p><p> </p><p>   “Can we please stop talking about this, I swear to god, I will throw myself in traffic if we don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>   “I mean...i can probably fix that so…” she debated. </p><p> </p><p>   “ELENA!” </p><p> </p><p>   “Fine fine...we won’t talk any more about how much you want to make out with a national treasure, it’s fine. Totally dropping the subject.” We put on our coats and walked down the stairs, elena called a car and we waited for it to pull in. “Completely not going to bring up anything about…” I looked daggers in her direction and she grinned. </p><p> </p><p>   The car arrived and we rode to Frank’s in relative silence, answering the friendly questions from the driver and explaining that no, we were not on a date with each other. He seemed disappointed. We walked into the restaurant, Frankie had set up a photo booth at the entrance and each group was stopping for pictures while they waited to be seated. Elena pulled me into the line and we got our picture before we made it to our table. I sat before Elena couldn’t contain herself anymore. </p><p> </p><p>   “Steve and Finlay sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” She sang, I pulled my coat back on to walk out and play in traffic but she grabbed my wrist laughing. “Sorry Sorry, I'll stop!”</p><p> </p><p>   “Thank you. I would really appreciate it.” I sighed. </p><p> </p><p>   “So, how was it? The actual kissing I mean.” </p><p> </p><p>   “Elena...are you fucking serious.” I looked at her, what part of not talking about this was so hard to understand?</p><p> </p><p>   “You made me tell you about James and I’ve been avoiding talking about that for years. Your turn.” She crossed her arms. </p><p> </p><p>   “Ok..give me like 8 years to pine about it first.” I tried to joke but she just smiled at me. </p><p> </p><p>   “So you are planning to pine about it then?” She grinned. Fuck. Was I? I mean it had been a nice kiss, couldn’t deny that but...what the fuck was I even thinking. </p><p> </p><p>   “Bitch, I might be!” I laid my head in my arms on the table and let out a little scream. “What the fuck, E.”</p><p> </p><p>   “That good?” She patted my shoulder. “Damn.”</p><p> </p><p>   “E I’m not kidding.” I lifted my head to look at her. “What if I just lost us both of our jobs?”</p><p> </p><p>   “It’s been a month, i think we would know by now if that was the case.”</p><p> </p><p>   “Ok, if we’re not fired what does that mean!? Did he like it? If he did what does that mean? If he didn't, what does that mean? I mean...he kissed me back so it couldn’t have been awful but he seemed really mad after.”</p><p> </p><p>   “So did you!” She pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>   “Yeah! I was mad cause he seemed mad and i was confused by...all of that.” I threw up my arms. </p><p> </p><p>   “You don’t think maybe he was mad cause he thought you were mad?” She asked calmly. </p><p> </p><p>   “That’s just stupid.” I tried to argue but she had a point. Fuck, this was going to be one of those times where she tells me nothing will be resolved until we talk about it.</p><p> </p><p>   “Well you won’t know until you talk to him about it.” And there it was.</p><p> </p><p>   “I think I’m going to order a drink and see how long i can avoid the issue completely.” I announced, getting up to walk to the bar. </p><p> </p><p>   “Roger that.” Elena teased, giving me a mock salute as i walked away. It was going to be a long night.</p>
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